Grief - Talkspace https://www.talkspace.com/blog/category/grief/ Therapy For How We Live Today Wed, 14 May 2025 16:26:36 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://www.talkspace.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/favicon.png Grief - Talkspace https://www.talkspace.com/blog/category/grief/ 32 32 How to Cope as a Grieving Widow https://www.talkspace.com/blog/widow-grief/ Fri, 21 Feb 2025 17:52:46 +0000 https://www.talkspace.com/blog/?p=34853 Losing a spouse or a life partner is one of life’s most painful, profound losses. Trying to navigate…

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Losing a spouse or a life partner is one of life’s most painful, profound losses. Trying to navigate a new world without your partner can leave you feeling shattered. Grief is a personal, complex journey, and there’s no single or right way to handle it. Research shows that the first year after becoming a widow or a widower is the most harmful to mental health. Recent widows report drastically higher rates of depression, poor social functioning, and lower physical and overall mental health functioning. Thus, it’s vital that you find support and coping strategies to get you through this time. 

If you or someone you care about is a surviving spouse experiencing widow grief, there are steps you can take to help you process your pain and slowly begin to rebuild your life.

Allow Yourself to Feel and Process the Grief

Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s crucial to allow yourself to feel the wide range of emotions associated with it. Sadness, anger, denial, confusion, guilt, or moments of peace and joy are all part of the grieving process. It isn’t linear — there’s no grief timeline or right or wrong way to “do” it. 

Healing takes time, and you can’t rush it even if you’re feeling pressured to move on by others. Understanding the stages of grief can help you navigate this challenging time. Sit with your emotions without judgment as often as you need. Some days will be heavier than others, and that’s OK.

Lean on Your Support Network

Grief feels inherently isolating, but you don’t have to — and shouldn’t try to — go through it alone. Now, more than ever, is the time for you to lean on friends, family members, and your community. Allow them to offer you comfort, and don’t feel obligated to return the favor immediately. 

If reaching out is too hard or overwhelming, start small. Accept an invitation for coffee, attend a local support group meeting, or call a close friend. Surrounding yourself with people who care about you will ease the burden and remind you that you’re not alone. 

Consider Professional Grief Counseling

While your inner circle can offer tremendous support, you might need more professional support. Working with a grief counselor or therapist can provide a different level of healing. Mental health professionals trained in grief counseling can guide you as you process your pain and emotions. They’ll utilize grief therapy techniques to teach you coping skills that will get you through the hard days. 

“While each person’s path in grief is unique, you do not have to walk it alone. There are so many benefits of talking to a therapist who specializes in grief or attending a grief group. Being able to get support during this challenging time not only decreases your isolation, it allows you to get support and gain tools to help at a time when it’s needed most. In a grief group it’s also an opportunity to share with others which can be a powerful healing experience. Grief does not have a time line, give yourself grace and know that your process is as unique as the relationship you had with your spouse/partner.”

Talkspace therapist Jill Daino, LCSW-R

If you’ve never done therapy before, start with a consultation to ensure it’s a good fit. Online therapy is a flexible, accessible option that can be less daunting since you won’t have to leave the house to get to your appointment. 

Find Solace in Routine and Self Care

As a grieving widow, having a routine can give you a sense of stability and help you deal with grief. Following a plan for the day — making your bed, having a cup of tea, or going for a walk in the park — can ground you and bring moments of normalcy.

It’s essential that you prioritize self-care right now. Nourish your mind and body by:

  • Eating healthy meals
  • Staying hydrated
  • Doing yoga
  • Working out
  • Reading a great book
  • Doing anything you enjoy
  • Getting enough rest
  • Taking breaks in your day when you need to 

Honor the Memory of Your Loved One

Celebrating your spouse’s life can be comforting and bring meaning to your grief. You might consider:

  • Creating a memory box with cherished letters, photos, or keepsakes
  • Planting a tree or garden in their honor
  • Writing down your best memories, stories, and plans to keep their legacy alive

You can also find small ways to remember them in daily life. Listen to their favorite song, cook their favorite meal, or keep doing a tradition both of you loved. Honoring your loved one in purposeful ways can bring you a sense of peace. 

Take Small Steps Toward Building a New Life

It might seem impossible today, but you will move forward eventually. This doesn’t mean you’re forgetting your spouse — it just means you’re finding ways to carry their memory while you start a new chapter for yourself. You can do this slowly — even small steps are worth the effort. With each one you take, the widow grief will subside more, and eventually, you’ll rediscover joy. 

“While grief does not have a timeline, many people find it helpful to take small meaningful steps toward their healing. For some, that might be returning to work or to the church you attended, taking a walk on the same path you used to with your spouse/partner, attending the same restaurant for lunch with a trusted friend or family member, watching a favorite tv show, or volunteering at a new organization. It doesn’t matter what it actually is— it’s whatever is meaningful to you.”

Talkspace therapist Jill Daino, LCSW-R

Explore or rediscover activities, events, places, or hobbies that once fulfilled you. Try joining a book club, learning a new skill, or volunteering in your community — activities that many older adults and widows find fulfilling. By putting yourself out there slowly, you’ll find that doors begin to open back up. Remember, there’s no rush to get there. Take one step at a time when you’re ready.

Embracing Healing at Your Own Pace

Moving from a grieving widow to a place of acceptance is a personal journey. There’s no finish line for grief. Be gentle with yourself and honor wherever you are in the process. Above all, know that you’re not alone. There are so many resources available when you need them.

“Healing is not linear, it goes up, down, sideways, and often in roller coaster loop de loops. The key is to allow the process to be what it is. You are not alone. Seek support from trusted friends, family, and a licensed mental health professional or grief counselor as you navigate your unique healing.”

Talkspace therapist Jill Daino, LCSW-R

If you’re ready to start working through your grief, Talkspace offers convenient and affordable support with online therapy covered by Medicare and many other insurance plans. Working with an experienced grief therapist will ensure you have expert help as you navigate this difficult time — and you can even do it from the privacy and comfort of your own home.

Online grief counseling can be a vital step in your healing journey. Connect with a licensed therapist through Talkspace today and take the first step toward finding comfort and hope.

Sources:

  1. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2003/09/widowhood

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How to Find a Grief Counselor for Your Healing Journey https://www.talkspace.com/blog/how-to-find-a-grief-counselor/ Wed, 04 Dec 2024 18:01:26 +0000 https://www.talkspace.com/blog/?p=34642 If you need to find a grief counselor, you know it’s a profoundly personal and emotional step in…

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If you need to find a grief counselor, you know it’s a profoundly personal and emotional step in your healing process. Losing someone you love is overwhelming, confusing, and sad, and most people, whether they realize it or not, are in dire need of support. 

Grief isn’t something you’ll ever truly get over, but it is something you must learn to live with. Finding the right grief therapist and having a good support system can make all the difference in how you navigate your journey. Grief therapy can offer you the tools and guidance you need to help process your emotions to rebuild your life so you can find meaning after loss. Research shows that grief therapy is effective, too. It can make it easier to work through your pain when you have support. 

With so many professionals out there, it can be daunting to figure out how to find a grief counselor. Read on for practical tips to find a qualified, experienced grief counselor who can help you and offer you clarity in your time of need. 

Steps to Find the Right Grief Counselor

Taking the time to think about your goals and needs will ensure you find the best fit, which will ultimately mean you’ll get the best healing journey.

1. Identify your specific needs and preferences

The first step in finding a qualified grief counselor is thinking about what your preferences are and what you want to get out of therapy.

Therapy outcomes

Because grief manifests differently for everyone, you want to look for somebody who aligns with your personal preferences and understands your goals for healing. Start by asking yourself:

  • What do you want to get out of therapy?
  • Do I want emotional support?
  • Am I looking for help navigating complex, difficult emotions? 
  • Do I just need guidance on how to move forward?

If you have a clear understanding of your goals, it will help you narrow your search. It will also ensure that once you start working with someone, you’ll be able to tell them exactly what you want to get out of your time together, eliminating frustration and miscommunications. 

In-person or online therapy

You also want to consider the logistics of your therapy experience. Would you prefer a traditional face-to-face experience, or do you need convenience and accessibility? If the latter, online therapy might be a better route.

Type of grief support

Sometimes, it can be easier to open up to a therapist who has specific expertise in dealing with certain types of grief, like bereavement after a long illness or the loss of a spouse or child. 

“Grief is a complicated emotion and ensuring you are getting the right care is really important. In the search for a right grief counselor, make sure to ask pertinent questions about the specific things you are struggling with. Ask about their experience in your specific situation. Sometimes, it helps to write down what you need in therapy so you can better communicate it. Grief makes a mess of our minds, having a way to organize it is incredibly helpful.”

Talkspace therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC

Gender, age, religious beliefs, and cultural backgrounds may also influence who you decide to work with.

2. Seek recommendations and referrals

Once you have a clear idea of what you’re looking for, ask for recommendations from someone you trust. Friends, family members, colleagues, or even a family doctor might be able to provide a referral. Seeking recommendations can help you feel supported in your journey. 

If you’re already working with a mental health professional, they might be able to refer you to a grief specialist and grief support group if that’s not their area of expertise.

3. Use online directories and resources

You can use online directories and resources if you don’t have anyone to get a referral from. Websites allow you to search for licensed counselors based on location, area, specialization, or other factors. Online directories generally list qualifications or areas of expertise that you can filter by, making it easier to find someone who specializes in grief. 

Online platforms like Talkspace offer online grief counseling and allow members to access experienced, qualified therapists with the convenience of getting therapy from home. 

4. Research and verify credentials and experience

Before you start working with a qualified grief counselor, be sure to research their credentials and ask about their expertise. A qualified grief therapist might have a psychology, counseling, or social work background. There are also specialized certifications in grief, counseling, or bereavement therapy that can be an added benefit. 

Finally, you can ask about continuing education they’ve done in bereavement, trauma, or related mental health areas. It’s important to find someone who not only understands the grieving process but also has success in treating it.

5. Consider the counselor’s approach

To get the most out of grief therapy, it has to be a good fit, and you must be comfortable with the therapist’s approach. It’s OK to ask about their grief therapy techniques. Understanding their theoretical approach is essential to ensure it resonates with your personal needs and philosophies.

Some might use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which helps you identify and reframe negative thought patterns and develop coping strategies. Other styles of therapy can incorporate elements of mindfulness to help you try to find meaning or purpose after your loss. They are also spiritually oriented therapists that might include faith-based aspects that align with your beliefs.

6. Reach out for initial consultations

After you narrow down a list of possible therapists, reach out and request an initial consultation. Most counselors offer brief initial meetings of 15 to 30 minutes so you can decide if it will be a good fit before you commit to sessions. This can give you insight into their communication style, personality, and comfort level.

“The initial consultation is when you can ask those questions and really delve into figuring out if the therapist might be a good fit for you. Be prepared for it to be on the shorter side and a little less like a true session. These consultations are meant to be brief and concise. It allows the potential client to suss out if they feel comfortable with the therapist and it allows the therapist to understand if they can competently treat the client. Most are no longer than 15 to 20 minutes.”

Talkspace therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC

Questions to ask a grief counselor

Grief is a personal journey, so it’s vital to ask questions to ensure it will be a good fit for both of you. Your relationship with your counselor will be fundamental to your healing journey, so it’s critical to feel comfortable and confident that they can help you.

Potential questions to ask during a consultation:

  • What is your experience working with clients who are grieving?
  • What therapeutic approach do you use for grief counseling?
  • Do you have any specialized training or certifications in grief counseling?
  • How do you tailor your counseling to meet the individual needs of clients?
  • Do you have experience working with individuals who have lost a loved one in a similar way? 
  • How do you structure your counseling sessions?
  • What can I expect to gain from grief counseling?
  • How long do you typically work with clients experiencing grief?
  • How often should I go to therapy?
  • What is your availability, and how often do you recommend sessions?
  • Do you involve family members in the counseling process?
  • Do you offer online counseling or in-person sessions?
  • What are your fees, and do you accept insurance?
  • Are you in-network with my insurance?

7. Evaluate the fit after the first few sessions

Once you decide on a therapist to work with, don’t be afraid to evaluate after a few sessions. Trusting your instinct is important, and if you know right away that the fit isn’t working for you, it’s best to end the relationship and switch therapists.

Signs you’ve found the right grief counselor to work with:

  • You feel safe and supported in your sessions
  • You’re comfortable being vulnerable
  • You feel like the therapist is actively listening to you and is empathetic
  • The therapeutic approach resonates with you
  • You begin to notice gradual progress
  • Your sessions feel full of purpose and relevant
  • You trust your therapist
  • You don’t ever feel rushed or pressured
  • You feel emotionally light after your sessions
  • You look forward to going to therapy

If you disagree with most of these statements, it might mean the therapeutic relationship isn’t offering you what you need. Don’t feel bad if you need to find a new therapist. The most important thing for you right now is ensuring you’re on an effective healing journey; it takes the right therapist to ensure that happens.  

Taking the First Step Toward Healing

Starting therapy can be difficult under any circumstances, but when you’re grieving, it can be excruciating. Taking the first step is powerful. It means you’re open to being on a path toward healing. Grief is tricky, and it’s never easy. There’s no timeline for grief and no right or one way to go through it. You deserve to have support during this time, though, and a grief therapist can guide you.

Talkspace offers online grief counseling that is simple, accessible, and convenient. Contact Talkspace today to get matched with a mental health professional who can help you learn to deal with grief.

Sources:

  1. Newsom C, Schut H, Stroebe MS, et al. Effectiveness of bereavement counseling through a community‐based organization: A naturalistic, controlled trial. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy. 2017;24(6). doi:10.1002/cpp.2113. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5763344/. Accessed October 17, 2024.

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Losing a Patient: Navigating Grief & Finding Resilience https://www.talkspace.com/blog/losing-a-patient/ Tue, 22 Oct 2024 16:09:30 +0000 https://www.talkspace.com/blog/?p=34202 Losing a patient is one of the most difficult and profound aspects of any healthcare professional’s job. Whether…

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Losing a patient is one of the most difficult and profound aspects of any healthcare professional’s job. Whether you’re a nurse, doctor, therapist, CNA, or hospice care worker, the grief you experience after a patient’s death can be deeply personal…and excruciatingly painful. 

Research shows that it’s common for providers to experience “moderate” or “long-term” grief after the death of a patient. Some studies suggest that the lingering weight can impact a provider’s sense of well-being. After all, death is a reminder of the fragility of life and that there are limitations to even the best patient care, especially when dealing with a terminally ill patient.

Recovering from the loss of a deceased patient is not just about saying goodbye — it’s learning to reconcile the emotional toll your job takes on your mental health. If you find yourself confronting loss repeatedly, learning to address your grief openly and in a healthy way is crucial for your well-being and for building resilience in your role as a healthcare provider.

The Emotional Toll of Losing a Patient

For many people who work in healthcare, the death of a patient is often much more than a professional setback. It’s an emotional rollercoaster that makes a significant impact. While loss is inevitable in this line of work, it never becomes easy. It’s normal to have feelings of grief, sadness, guilt, or helplessness after losing a patient, particularly in difficult situations where a patient is dying despite all your best efforts.  These intense emotions may even lead to depression for nurses and doctors, especially when they struggle to process their grief in a healthy way. 

It’s crucial to remember that your emotions are valid, though. There’s no timeline for grief, and there are no rules about when or how you’ll be ready to move forward. That said, understanding how a loss affects you is the first step toward healing and managing emotional exhaustion.

“Even with the most abundant training on loss and boundaries, therapists at the end of the day, are every bit human. So, it’s important to navigate and process with professional support or supervision, if at any point it becomes difficult to carry on your own. Get help if your sadness is disproportionate or prolonged.”

Talkspace therapist Elizabeth Keohan, LCSW-C

How to Cope with Losing Patients in Your Job

The loss of a patient is never simple, but some strategies can help you cope with and manage the emotions. Incorporating these coping mechanisms into your routine will help you navigate the emotional toll you’re experiencing so you can continue to provide compassionate care to other patients.

Talk to a therapist

Reaching out for professional help and support can be crucial as you process a loss. A licensed therapist provides a safe space for you to explore your feelings. They’ll be able to offer you coping strategies and help you navigate your grief.

Lean on your support network 

Don’t hesitate to ask for support after a patient passes away. Lean on colleagues who understand the unique aspects of your line of work or reach out to friends and family who can show you compassion. Sharing your experience with others can help alleviate feelings of isolation, and you’ll likely find strength in the connections.

Find ways to honor your patients

Many healthcare professionals find that creating a personal ritual is beneficial. Honoring a deceased patient can bring a sense of closure and peace — it may be as simple as lighting a candle or writing a reflection. If you’re close with the family, you might consider participating in a memorial service if they hold one. 

Practice self-care

Your job requires tremendous strength and energy for your patients, but you must also find ways to take care of yourself. Self-care for nurses can include regularly working out, eating healthy, getting enough sleep, or practicing mindfulness. Maintaining physical and mental well-being can make coping with the emotional demands of loss a little bit easier.

Set boundaries 

Learning to recognize your limits and set boundaries is critical to protecting your mental health, especially after a patient passes away. If you need to take time off, do so. Try not to bring work home and learn to say no to additional responsibilities when you’re feeling emotionally drained or approaching nurse burnout.

Participate in peer support groups

Joining a peer support group of fellow healthcare professionals can give you a sense of community and understanding. Sharing stories and hearing each other’s experiences will normalize your feelings after loss, and you’ll likely gain valuable coping strategies from one another.

Remember the positive impact you have on your patients

Remind yourself of the positive impact you have on the lives of the patients you help. Especially in their final moments, the care and compassion you show can be comforting — let that reinforce the value you place on your role as a caregiver.

Use reflective practices

Take time to reflect on what you’ve gone through. You can try journaling for your mental health or using guided reflection to process your emotions and gain valuable insights into why you’re having the reaction you’re having. Reflective practices can help you identify patterns in your emotional responses so you can develop effective, targeted coping mechanisms.

Maintaining Professional Boundaries & Continuity of Care

It’s always important for healthcare professionals to maintain boundaries, but doing so while ensuring continuity of care can be a delicate balance. 

You’re tasked with forming meaningful connections with your patients — which can make their eventual loss even more challenging. Learning to navigate your feelings while upholding your role as a professional is easier when you have effective strategies in place. 

  • Learn to separate personal and professional emotions: Although developing attachments to patients is natural, it’s vital to differentiate between personal feelings and professional responsibilities.
  • Focus on the task at hand: After any loss, it can be difficult to shift your focus back to other patients, but concentrating on their needs might help you stay grounded and provide continuity of care.
  • Delegate tasks when necessary: If your emotions interfere with your ability to care for other patients, it’s OK to delegate tasks and ask for help.
  • Practice emotional detachment techniques: Learn techniques, like mindfulness or compartmentalization, to help you manage your emotions so you can maintain a professional demeanor yet still acknowledge your feelings in healthy ways.
  • Maintain perspective: Perspective will be crucial as you heal from the loss of a patient. Focusing on the broader impact of your work will help you stay focused and prevent burnout.
  • Seek support from peers: Don’t be afraid to talk to colleagues who understand what the death of a patient feels like. They can relate to the complexity of what you’re going through, give you insight, and offer reassurance.
  • Reflect on how you handle patient relationships: Reflecting on your relationships and the emotions you experience after loss will help you adjust your approach in the future if needed.

Navigate These Complex Emotions with Support

Addressing grief after losing a patient is crucial for moving on. It’s essential for your mental and emotional well-being and your ability to do your job. The toll of loss can accumulate over time, so it’s even more critical to recognize when you need support. Taking proactive steps to manage your emotions can make a significant difference in how you heal, whether you talk to a therapist, lean on your support network, or find ways to honor your patients, 

The first step might be seeking therapy. Online therapy can be a convenient and accessible way to get help. Professional mental health providers at Talkspace can guide you in navigating your emotions so you can continue your vital work without sacrificing your own well-being.

If you’re struggling with the impact of the loss of a patient, consider seeking online therapy with Talkspace today.  

Sources:

  1. Morrison W. Coming together to grieve when a patient dies. AAMC. Published November 15, 2023. https://www.aamc.org/news/coming-together-grieve-when-patient-dies. Accessed August 13, 2024. 
  2. Yazdan R, Corey K, Messer SJ, et al. Hospital-Based Interventions to Address Provider Grief: A Narrative review. Journal of Pain and Symptom Management. 2023;66(1):e85-e107. doi:10.1016/j.jpainsymman.2023.03.001. https://www.jpsmjournal.com/article/S0885-3924(23)00401-3/abstract. Accessed August 13, 2024. 

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11 Impactful Benefits of Grief Counseling https://www.talkspace.com/blog/benefits-of-grief-counseling/ Mon, 08 Jan 2024 14:12:19 +0000 https://www.talkspace.com/blog/?p=32703 Grief is something everyone will experience at some point in life. It’s a universal reaction to loss that’s…

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Grief is something everyone will experience at some point in life. It’s a universal reaction to loss that’s unavoidable. Yet, while it’s a journey everyone must eventually take, the path to healing from grief is unique. No two people’s experiences with grief are the same, which makes the grief journey even more lonely, painful, and difficult to navigate. The good thing is, grief counseling can help.

Grief counseling is a specific type of therapy that helps you understand and process the emotions brought on by grieving. It’s a place where you can build coping strategies and increase self-awareness as you learn to accept reality after loss.

There are several benefits to grief support therapy. From providing an open, safe space where you can express yourself, to learning complicated grief coping tools that specifically work for your needs, to coming to a place of acceptance — if you’re wondering if grief counseling is worth it, the answer is yes.  

Keep reading to learn more about the benefits of grief counseling that can help you cope with your loss.

1. Help with Understanding Grief

One of the best benefits of grief counseling might be that it can help you understand what you’re going through. Grief counselors act as a guide while you learn to process and understand the stages of grief. 

Developed by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross in her groundbreaking 1969 book, On Death and Dying, there are 5 stages of grief often referenced in counseling. 

Stages most people experience as they grieve include:

  • Denial
  • Anger
  • Bargaining
  • Depression
  • Acceptance

It’s important to note that the stages of grief are not linear or identical for everyone. How, when, and even if you experience each stage can differ from person to person. More recently, David 

Kressler added 2 more stages of grief that are commonly accepted. They are shock and testing.

2. A Safe Space to Express Emotions

It’s crucial to understand there’s no timeline for the grief journey. Most people vastly underestimate how long the grieving process takes. Research shows on average, it can take up to 2 years to heal from significant loss. 

Due to the length of time the grieving process takes, you might find it difficult to express your emotions in a place where you feel safe. It might feel like the world has moved on, but you’re stuck without a way to express yourself. Grief counseling can offer that haven, where no emotion is out of place. 

3. Coping Mechanisms

Counseling will offer a tool kit filled with grief therapy techniques and coping tools. Coping mechanisms for grief are crucial in helping you process any complicated grief emotions while you heal. 

Common coping mechanisms used in grief therapy include:

  • Journaling: Writing down your feelings and thoughts helps you process them more deeply. Research suggests that journaling can be an effective way to manage anxiety, stress, and depression, which are often related to loss.
  • Deep breathing: The art of deep breathing is a way to calm the mind and regain control over your emotions. There are several breathing techniques you can learn in therapy that can help you when your grief is all-encompassing, and you can’t see a way out. 
  • Mindfulness: Mindful meditation is an ancient practice of being still. It focuses on calming the mind and letting go of regrets from the past or worries about the future. 
  • Positive reframing: In therapy, you learn how to reframe your thoughts about grief. While at first this may seem impossible — nothing good came from your loss — the concept of reframing isn’t just “looking at the glass half full.” It’s more like consciously focusing on the good memories or putting effort into a tribute for the person you lost — actions that can help relieve some of the pain you’re experiencing. 

4. Increased Self-Awareness

One of the most incredible benefits of any type of therapy is how it helps boost self-awareness. In grief therapy, you gain a good grasp and understanding of the feelings and emotions you experience during the grieving process.  

With self-awareness comes a rise in consciousness that helps you recognize unhealthy or unhelpful thought and behavior processes that might evoke psychological pain. Therapy can help you learn effective tools to manage these moments in constructive, positive ways.

5. Help with Accepting Reality

Acceptance can be one of the most complicated stages of grief to move through. Grief therapy allows you to come to terms with the harsh reality of your loss. It’s important to note that acceptance doesn’t mean forgetting about your loved one or feeling at peace with the loss. Instead, it’s knowing how to live with your new reality.

6. Reduces Isolation

Grief can be a very isolating and lonely experience. Though it’s a personal and solitary time in your life, it doesn’t have to remain that way. A grief counseling session can be comforting, and your grief therapist can offer you validation when you feel alone or like nobody understands your pain. Understanding that your feelings aren’t wrong or abnormal is vital to healing.

It’s common to feel a disconnect when you’re grieving. Therapy with a grief counselor can help you reconnect and explain where you are emotionally if others can’t see what you’re going through.

7. Restored Sense of Control

With grief often comes anxiety and stress, which can make you feel out of control. Therapy and grief counseling techniques can be a lifeline that guides you through these emotional storms so you can find calm. 

One of the most critical aspects of therapy is that it doesn’t mask symptoms. Instead, your grief therapist gives you the tools for long-term resilience so you can handle whatever else life throws at you, even when you’re in a fragile state that comes with grieving. 

Learning to master your emotions is crucial after a loss. It’s always OK to be authentic and “feel your feelings,” but knowing you can control them is empowering. It will bring hope back into view, even though grief has changed everything you know about your world. 

“Grief can change a person’s entire perspective on life. There can be overall changes in sleep patterns, eating patterns, overall energy decreases there’s forgetfulness and trouble concentrating. Mood changes like irritability and overall sadness.”

Talkspace therapist Reshawna Chapple, PhD, LCSW

8. Help with Life Transitions

By seeking therapy to manage your grief, you’ll learn how to move towards a new reality after loss with grief counseling techniques. Going to a grief counseling session can pave the way as you work toward acceptance and growth. Maybe this means adjusting to living alone or dealing with significant shifts professionally, but therapy can offer grief support as you learn to understand your new roles and territory. 

9. Effective Communication Skills

Learning to communicate effectively is a life skill you’ll benefit from long after you go through the grieving process. The capacity to communicate clearly and in a thoughtful, expressive manner allows the people around you to understand what you’re struggling with so they can surround you with a supportive and sympathetic circle as you heal. 

10. Support in Rebuilding Relationships

Grief can make sustaining relationships challenging. It’s easy to pull away from others, and feeling misunderstood, even by those closest to you, is not uncommon. Therapy can help you strengthen bonds again so you can reshape damaged relationships. 

By coping with and expressing your emotions in healthy ways, you can reestablish deep connections with people you may have distanced yourself from. 

11. Finding Meaning After Loss

It feels impossible, but you can find meaning after loss. Even when it seems like you’re drowning or that your grief is swallowing you up, grief counseling can show you how to take — sometimes very small — steps toward finding purpose. 

Loss can create a void so big that your entire worldview shifts. Therapy with a grief counselor helps you embrace the transformation loss causes, as post-traumatic growth focuses on slowly letting go of the pain you’re in.

“Through the pain, sometimes grief can put things into perspective. The grieving process can slow an individual down so much that they start to see the world differently. Through the grieving process and with the help of a grief counselor, you can find ways to put the grief into perspective. Sometimes, grief can even redefine an individual’s life purpose.”

Talkspace therapist Reshawna Chapple, PhD, LCSW

Is Grief Counseling Worth It?

It’s completely normal to wonder if grief counseling is worth it. The short answer is: yes, it is. According to research, while most people will be able to cope with grief without intervention or professional help from a grief therapist, experiencing loss is linked to both mental and physical outcomes. 

  • Mental health impact: According to research, grief is linked to an increase in poor mental health, causing higher rates of mood disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, and anxiety.   
  • Physical impact: Some studies indicate that grief can affect physical health and even lead to an increased risk of mortality. 

Getting a hold on your grief by managing and working through it in therapy can help you ease the impact it has on your life.

Begin Your Healing Journey with Talkspace

If you need help dealing with grief, Talkspace is an online therapy platform that simplifies the therapeutic process. Online grief counseling is just as effective as in-person — it offers you access to professional, experienced grief counselors so you can find the strength you need to navigate your grief and come out on the other side.

Sources:

  1. Tyrrell P, Harberger S, Schoo C, Siddiqui W. Kubler-Ross stages of dying and subsequent models of grief. National Library of Medicine. Accessed December 12, 2023. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK507885/.  
  2. Grief, bereavement, and coping with loss (PDQ®). National Library of Medicine. October 18, 2022. Accessed December 12, 2023. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK66052/  
  3. Smyth JM, Johnson JA, Auer BJ, Lehman E, Talamo G, Sciamanna CN. Online positive affect journaling in the improvement of mental distress and well-being in general medical patients with elevated anxiety symptoms: A preliminary randomized controlled trial. JMIR Mental Health. 2018;5(4). doi:10.2196/11290. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6305886/. Accessed December 12, 2023. 
  4. Newsom C, Schut H, Stroebe MS, et al. Effectiveness of bereavement counselling through a community‐based organization: A naturalistic, controlled trial. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy. 2017;24(6). doi:10.1002/cpp.2113. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5763344/. Accessed December 12, 2023
  5. Zisook S, Iglewicz A, Avanzino J, et al. Bereavement: Course, consequences, and care. Current Psychiatry Reports. 2014;16(10). doi:10.1007/s11920-014-0482-8. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11920-014-0482-8. Accessed December 12, 2023. 

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How Much Does Grief Counseling Cost? https://www.talkspace.com/blog/grief-counseling-cost/ Tue, 02 Jan 2024 13:37:12 +0000 https://www.talkspace.com/blog/?p=32677 Losing a loved one is a devastating journey we all must go on at some point in life.…

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Losing a loved one is a devastating journey we all must go on at some point in life. Grief is a highly personal, painful experience — and there’s no one way to go through it. The grieving process is different for everyone. There’s no right or wrong way to “do it.” As daunting as this significant loss can be though, there is hope; you don’t have to grieve alone. Grief counseling can be an instrumental part of your healing process, but if you’re wondering how much grief counseling costs — rest assured, that’s completely normal.

The truth is, the cost of grief counseling can widely vary. It depends on numerous factors, but if you or a loved one is trying to heal from a loss, the price of a grief counseling service is usually well worth it. 

If you’re considering therapy as a way to navigate healing from a significant loss, you can get an idea of what grief counseling costs here. We’re looking at the average cost you should expect to pay for a grief counseling service and what factors might influence your cost. 

Average Cost of Grief Counseling

The average cost of grief counseling typically ranges from $75 to $150 per session, though this can fluctuate based on the grief counselor’s experience, location, and the session’s length and type. The final price you pay for these types of mental health services will depend on many other things as well. Regardless of the cost, the benefits of grief counseling are worth the investment.

Factors That Influence the Cost of Grief Counseling

There are some common factors that influence the cost of therapy for grief. To start, how extreme your grief is can determine how often and long you need treatment, which can affect the total cost of care overall. 

Other factors that impact cost include: 

  • The mental health professional’s experience and training
  • Your location
  • Duration and frequency of sessions 
  • Type and format of counseling and if you’re seeking in-person or online therapy
  • Whether or not you have insurance 

Counselor’s experience and qualifications

If you’re wondering how much a grief counselor costs, remember that mental health professionals will have varying degrees, backgrounds, and experience. A therapist’s history can influence their per-session price. Very experienced grief counselors, therapists, or psychiatrists can charge more because they bring knowledge, expertise, and reputation to their practice.  

Location

Like anything else, where you live generally plays a role in how much grief counselors and therapists will charge for their services. A mental health professional who works in Manhattan or Los Angeles will likely charge considerably more than one who practices in a smaller, rural community. 

Duration and frequency of sessions

Counseling session length and how often you go to therapy will obviously play a part in determining how much grief counseling costs. Longer or more frequent sessions will typically translate to higher overall costs. 

Type of counseling

There are multiple types of grief therapy techniques available. The approach and format can play a role in how much you’ll pay. Individual, group, online, or in-person (face-to-face) sessions will differ in price.

“There are several reasons why a person can choose one or more modes of bereavement therapy. Individual in-person or online sessions will be based on a few factors, including the cost and/or availability of those mental health professionals. Group therapy can be cost-effective. Both individual and group sessions have pros and cons in choosing what’s right for an individual. Understanding what you want and how you want to process your grief will be a key factor in deciding the right modality.”

Talkspace therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC

Insurance coverage

Whether or not you have health insurance will play a large role in how much grief counseling will cost you. However, insurance gets tricky when it comes to therapy for grief recovery. While the Affordable Care Act mandates that insurance companies cover mental health services the same way they do physical health, you might need a distinct diagnosis for your insurance to offer coverage for grief support.

The good news, though, is if your insurance covers even a portion of your grief counseling costs, your out-of-pocket expenses (the portion of the fee you’re responsible for) will be much lower. 

Affordable Online Grief Counseling at Talkspace

Grief recovery can be a taxing journey — but you don’t have to go through it alone. If you’re worried about the cost of grief counseling, you should know that Talkspace is an online therapy platform that offers affordable, convenient, and accessible online grief counseling from licensed mental health professionals who understand what you’re going through. You can work with a Talkspace provider who takes a compassionate approach to the grief support and healing you need during this time — all while you’re in the comfort of your own home.

Connect with a Talkspace therapist today to start on the path of dealing with grief. The road is long, but we’re with you every step of the way during your grieving process. 

Sources:

  1. 1. Assistant Secretary for Public Affairs (ASPA). About the ACA. HHS.gov. March 15, 2022. Accessed December 11, 2023. https://www.hhs.gov/healthcare/about-the-aca/index.html

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Does Insurance Cover Grief Counseling? https://www.talkspace.com/blog/does-insurance-cover-grief-counseling/ Wed, 28 Jun 2023 14:57:24 +0000 https://www.talkspace.com/blog/?p=30834 Mental health services can be critical for those coping with loss, but does insurance cover grief counseling? The…

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Mental health services can be critical for those coping with loss, but does insurance cover grief counseling? The simplest answer is sometimes. While federal law and the Affordable Care Act mandate that health insurance plans cover mental health treatment the same way they do physical health, without a clear diagnosis — like prolonged grief disorder (PGD) — some insurers are able to get around compliance and deny coverage. 

Unfortunately, the truth is that insurance coverage for grief counseling varies depending on your provider, plan, and diagnosis, and it isn’t required at all unless it’s used to treat a clinically diagnosed condition. 

Some type of grief will affect everyone at some point, and the symptoms can be devastating — from anxiety to anger to being unable to sleep; managing grief is an important part of life at some point. 

Continue reading to learn everything you need to know to answer the question: does insurance cover grief counseling

Medicare Coverage

Grief therapy techniques can be a crucial way to maintain mental well-being. Many people turn to it when faced with the passing of someone close. Fortunately, Medicare coverage can help pay for in-person or online grief counseling services.

To get covered grief counseling services under Medicare, you should consult your Evidence of Coverage to review your plan’s benefits. Talkspace also may provide online therapy covered by Medicare in select states, with more states to come. Medicare Advantage does not cover Talkspace online therapy at this time.

EAP Coverage Through Your Employer

Learning how to deal with grief can be especially helpful for those who’ve suffered a bereavement or experienced another significant life transition, like divorce or a major move.  

Employers may provide Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) to assist employees in managing the pressures of daily life. What is an EAP, exactly? It’s a program that offers benefits to employees, often including counseling and other resources for mental health, substance abuse, financial concerns, legal matters, and grief counseling. Check with your HR department to find out details about coverage limits and costs associated with grief counseling services through an EAP program. 

You should also ask if there are any restrictions about where you can receive care. Some plans only permit visits within their network, while others may offer more leeway about provider selection outside the network. See if your plan requires pre-authorization before seeking treatment elsewhere.  

How to Get Grief Counseling Covered by Insurance

Grief counseling can be integral to the recovery journey following any loss. Unfortunately, accessing insurance coverage for grief counseling can sometimes be challenging. Here are some tips on how to get your grief counseling covered by health insurance.

  1. Check Medicare coverage: The Medicare Part B program covers mental health services, which include grief counseling. Certain criteria must be met to be eligible, and there may be a cap on the number of sessions covered annually. Check with your provider before seeking treatment so you know what’s covered and what isn’t.
  2. Ask your employer about your company’s EAP: If your employer offers an EAP plan, contact them to find out if they cover any portion of the cost of individual therapy sessions related to grieving a loved one’s death or another traumatic event in your life.
  3. Seek private insurance: Private insurance plans vary widely when covering grief counseling expenses, so it’s best to contact your insurer directly if you want more information about their policies. In some cases, private insurers may cover a portion of the costs but have pre-authorization requirements or limits on visits per year that could result in higher co-pays or decreased reimbursement levels.

“Although general grief is not covered by most insurance plans due to a lack of diagnosis, in many cases, another underlying issue will be covered. Once in therapy, the client can discuss the grief and other issues (e.g., depression, anxiety, etc.).”

Talkspace therapist Reshawna Chapple, PhD, LCSW

Affordable Grief Counseling with or without Insurance

While insurance coverage for grief will depend on several factors, the reality is that even if you aren’t covered, you can still get access to cost-effective talk therapy without insurance through Talkspace. 

Talkspace provides convenient and affordable access to licensed therapists who can offer support through text messaging, video chat sessions, or audio calls from the comfort and safety of your home. Online therapy makes grief therapy easy, even for people in rural areas or who have limited transportation. Reach out to Talkspace today to learn more about grief therapy covered by insurance. We partner with major healthcare plans across the country like CignaAnthemAetnaMedicareOptum, TRICARE, and more.

Learn more about Talkspace grief counseling today to get started.

Sources:

  1. Assistant Secretary for Public Affairs (ASPA). About the ACA. HHS.gov. https://www.hhs.gov/healthcare/about-the-aca/index.html. Published March 15, 2022. Accessed March 23, 2023. 
  2. Grief and loss. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/mentalhealth/stress-coping/grief-loss/index.html. Published September 6, 2022. Accessed March 23, 2023. 
  3. Mental health care (outpatient). Outpatient Mental Health Coverage. https://www.medicare.gov/coverage/mental-health-care-outpatient#. Accessed March 23, 2023. 

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How to Cope with Miscarriage https://www.talkspace.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-a-miscarriage/ Fri, 24 Feb 2023 17:30:16 +0000 https://www.talkspace.com/blog/?p=29762 Losing a pregnancy is a traumatic and heartbreaking experience, and despite miscarriage being more common than many people…

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Losing a pregnancy is a traumatic and heartbreaking experience, and despite miscarriage being more common than many people know — affecting somewhere between 10 to 20% of pregnancies — that doesn’t make it any less painful. 

While there’s no way to erase the loss you’ve experienced, coping with miscarriage can be eased when you have the support you need. Keep reading to learn how to deal with loss after a miscarriage. 

Emotional Feelings After a Miscarriage

For a woman and people who menstruate, an early pregnancy loss can trigger a range of emotions. While not everyone reacts to miscarriage in the same way, it’s common for someone to experience feelings such as:

  • Guilt 
  • Fatigue 
  • Grief
  • Emotional stress
  • Sadness
  • Depression 
  • Anger
  • Jealousy
  • Shock 
  • Loneliness
  • Hopelessness

Losing a pregnancy can cause hormone levels to rapidly shift, leading to mood swings and causing already-intense emotions to have even more of an impact on your emotional health. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself time to process your emotions. Remember, there’s no one or right way to grieve this loss as the grieving process is different for everyone.

“The emotional feelings experienced can affect some people more than others. It’s important to remember that not everyone will feel or act the same. The grief can be intense, and other symptoms such as fatigue, lack of appetite, guilt, anger, and depression may be present as well.”

Talkspace therapist Cynthia Catchings, LCSW-S, LCSWC

Physical Feelings After a Miscarriage

Miscarriage at any stage can cause more than just emotional pain. There is a physical aspect that many women struggle to navigate. Many women deal with exhaustion, loss of appetite, or insomnia. Hormones responsible for pregnancy symptoms remain in your system after a miscarriage, which means some women might continue to experience nausea, swollen breasts, vaginal bleeding, or other physical symptoms even after the physical loss of their pregnancy.

While the body can usually heal from a miscarriage on its own, medical interventions may be necessary in some cases. For many, this can make the trauma of pregnancy loss more severe. If your doctor recommends an ultrasound or another type of treatment, reach out to loved ones for emotional support. You don’t have to try to go through this alone. 

How to Deal with a Miscarriage: 5 Things to Do

Dealing with miscarriage grief can be a difficult and painful process. While not everyone who experiences pregnancy loss goes through the same emotions, processing and acknowledging your grief can help you deal with your feelings in a healthy way so that you can heal. It will take time and it’s not something you can rush, but there are steps you can take that can help when it comes to how to deal with sadness after experiencing a miscarriage.   

1. Be open about your feelings

Many people feel like they need to grieve silently after a miscarriage, especially if they haven’t yet told friends or family that they were expecting. Bottling up your emotions can make negative feelings even more difficult to process and increase your risk for depression. 

If you’re not comfortable talking to people you know personally about your miscarriage, consider joining a support group. Sharing with others who’ve experienced pregnancy loss can remind you that you’re not alone and the emotions you’re experiencing are valid.

“Allowing yourself to feel and express your emotions as you try to understand and accept that they’re normal can be very helpful. Working with a therapist can be a supportive way to process your experience. Know there are caring professionals who want to support you.”

Talkspace therapist Cynthia Catchings, LCSW-S, LCSWC

2. Give yourself a chance to grieve

Part of learning how to cope with miscarriage is giving yourself enough space and time to heal. The pain you’re feeling won’t go away overnight, and you shouldn’t feel pressured to move on or “get over” your feelings. 

While some women may choose to try for a new pregnancy immediately, it’s okay to wait if you’re not ready. Even if you’re physically able to conceive, you may not be emotionally ready for a new pregnancy, especially if you haven’t given yourself the chance to grieve your loss. That’s OK.

3. Take care of yourself 

After experiencing a traumatic loss, it can be common to neglect your basic needs. When you’re not eating or getting the sleep you need, it can be difficult for your body to recover from the physical strain of a miscarriage. Self-care and healthy coping skills will be incredibly important as you heal during this time. 

If you don’t have much of an appetite, try eating small, simple meals. It’s fine to order in or eat quick or prepared foods if you don’t feel up to cooking. What’s important is that your body is getting the nutrients it needs. 

Make sure that you’re resting as much as possible — sleep will be important throughout your recovery. Other ways you can be gentle with your mind and body include trying to do things like meditating, journaling for your mental health, or, if you’re up for it, going for a short walk or sitting outside for a bit during the day. Listen to the signs you need a mental health day off so you can focus on yourself.

4. Find ways to commemorate your loss

Many people who’ve gone through miscarriage find it helpful to memorialize their loss. After all, it’s a type of grief in itself. There are several ways to remember and honor the baby you lost. Memorials can be comforting and offer a sense of closure. 

Whether you choose a name for your baby, plant a tree in their honor, donate to a charity, or find another symbolic way to signify your loss, a memorial may help you feel the pregnancy you lost was real. You can involve friends and family members, or you can commemorate your loss privately. There’s no right or wrong way for you to do a ceremony like this. 

5. Remember that it’s not your fault 

Many people struggle with feelings of shame or guilt after losing a pregnancy. Instead of looking for ways to blame yourself, remember that your miscarriage isn’t your fault. More than half of first trimester miscarriages are caused by chromosomal abnormalities, which means there’s nothing you could have done that would have prevented the loss. 

Try to show yourself compassion during this difficult time. Instead of searching for things that you may have done wrong, remember that this loss was out of your control. Don’t be afraid to reach out to other people, like your doctor, partner, or other friends who’ve had a miscarriage, if you need reassurance. 

“By practicing healthy activities to cope, you can reduce the difficult emotions and symptoms. That may require willpower and pushing yourself, but the results are worth it.”

Talkspace therapist Cynthia Catchings, LCSW-S, LCSWC

What Should You Not Do After a Miscarriage?

If you’ve lost a pregnancy, you may feel pressure from others to “move on” or “get over your pain.” You might feel as though you need to keep your loss a secret, or that you don’t know how to cope with miscarriage in the right way. 

Since it’s sometimes rare for people to talk openly about pregnancy loss, many myths exist about miscarriage. This can make it even more challenging for many women to navigate their emotions as they try to figure out how to deal with a miscarriage. Don’t listen to people who make negative or hurtful comments, and don’t feel like you have to grieve in a specific way. Grief is a process, and it’s just not something that you can rush or follow a playbook to get through. Each stage of grief requires time.

The way that you react to a miscarriage is deeply personal. Whether you’re feeling angry, frustrated, anxious, or are experiencing intense sadness, all of your feelings are normal. People have different ways of coping with miscarriage, and it’s best to deal with your loss in a way that feels right to you.

Get Professional Mental Health Help with Talkspace

Support can be invaluable when you’ve experienced a traumatic loss like a miscarriage. Friends and family members can be a source of strength during this difficult time, but if you’re struggling to process your grief, you may need help from a professional. Seeing a therapist can allow you to talk about your loss and learn how to cope with miscarriage in a healthy way. 

People who are dealing with miscarriage emotions frequently experience symptoms of depression or anxiety. A therapist can assess your symptoms and recommend the best form of treatment for what you’re experiencing. Miscarriage grief is often painful and complex, but with the help of a professional, you’ll be able to work through your emotions and start the healing process. 

Talkspace’s online approach to therapy makes getting help simple. Our online therapy platform means you can get therapy from the comfort of your own home from a qualified, experienced mental health professional who understands what you’re going through and can give you the tools you need to heal from your loss. Reach out today to learn more about how Talkspace can help you navigate the painful experience of coping with miscarriage. 

Sources:

1. Dugas C, Slane V. Miscarriage. StatPearls [Internet]. 2022. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK532992/. . Accessed August 23, 2022.

2. Z. Jukic A, Weinberg C, Wilcox A, Baird D. Effects of early pregnancy loss on hormone levels in the subsequent menstrual cycle. Gynecological Endocrinology. 2010;26(12):897-901. doi:10.3109/09513590.2010.487601. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3057575/. Accessed August 23, 2022.

3. Butts S, Guo W, Cary M et al. Predicting the Decline in Human Chorionic Gonadotropin in a Resolving Pregnancy of Unknown Location. Obstetrics & Gynecology. 2013;122(2):337-343. doi:10.1097/aog.0b013e31829c6ed6. https://journals.lww.com/greenjournal/Abstract/2013/08000/Predicting_the_Decline_in_Human_Chorionic.22.aspx. Accessed August 23, 2022.

4. Kelley N, Glazer J, Pornpattananangkul N, Nusslock R. Reappraisal and suppression emotion-regulation tendencies differentially predict reward-responsivity and psychological well-being. Biol Psychol. 2019;140:35-47. doi:10.1016/j.biopsycho.2018.11.005. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6321785/. Accessed August 23, 2022.

5. Hardy P, Hardy K. Chromosomal instability in first trimester miscarriage: a common cause of pregnancy loss?. Transl Pediatr. 2018;7(3):211-218. doi:10.21037/tp.2018.03.02. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6087828/. Accessed August 23, 2022.

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How Long Does Grief Last? https://www.talkspace.com/blog/how-long-does-grief-last/ Tue, 21 Feb 2023 15:48:49 +0000 https://www.talkspace.com/blog/?p=29723 Updated 10/16/2024 Grief is a complex process and emotion that affects us all in different ways. Understanding what…

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Updated 10/16/2024

Grief is a complex process and emotion that affects us all in different ways. Understanding what to expect from a grief timeline can help you move through the process, but how long does grief last? It’s an important question to ask, and perhaps the most critical thing to understand about grief is that it has no single timeline.

The grieving process depends on factors like age, circumstances, and the nature of the loss — even culture can play a role. Keep reading as we explore the various aspects of grief, so you know exactly what to expect when mourning the death of a loved one or dealing with other challenging events in life.

The Non-Linear Timeline of Grief

Grief is unique for each person, so when trying to determine how long grieving lasts, keep in mind that there’s no one-size-fits-all grief timeline.

“Grieving is a unique experience and no one’s experience is the same. Similar emotions are felt at different points in the grieving cycle, but not in a pattern that can be predicted. This is normal and it’s perfectly acceptable. It’s important to allow emotions and thoughts to take place and work through them. There’s no set timeline of when grieving ends. In some sense, grief is never gone, but the severity of the grief diminishes over time.”

Talkspace therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC

Grief can come in waves or cycles, with moments of intense sadness followed by periods of relative calm. This non-linear timeline means that the grieving process may take longer than expected, and setbacks can be common.

Some people feel better after a few weeks or months following their loss, but others might feel stuck in a cycle of pain and sorrow for years afterward.

How Long Does Someone Usually Grieve for?

How long does grieving last on average? The length of time someone grieves will depend on you, your circumstances, and the type of significant loss you’ve experienced. On average, normal grief can last anywhere from 6 months to 2 years or more. Research shows that many people find their grief starts to improve within about 6 months after a loss.

Factors That Impact How You Process & Heal From Grief

Many factors influence how we experience and process grief. This knowledge can help us better cope with our emotions.

  • Duration: One of the most common questions people have after a loss is, “ how long does grief last ?” While there’s no definitive answer, generally speaking, it can take at least 6 months to begin to feel like you’re making progress in your healing journey.
  • Type of loss: The type of loss can impact how long you grieve and the type of grief you experience. When someone close to you passes away, or a relationship ends suddenly, it might take longer to heal than after a loss like losing a job or moving houses. Losing a parent, losing a spouse, or losing a child may result in a much longer grief timeline.
  • Intensity: The intensity of your grief can vary based on the depth of the relationship or the nature of the loss. Major life disruptions or significant emotional ties can make intense grief feel overwhelming and harder to manage. Acknowledging the intensity allows you to adjust your expectations for the healing process.
  • Triggers: Grief can often be reactivated by certain triggers, such as significant dates, places, or events that remind you of your loss. Understanding what triggers your grief can help you prepare emotionally for moments when these feelings may resurface.
  • Support system: Having an adequate support system around you as you grieve can be incredibly helpful in managing your emotions and helping you move through the stages of grief more quickly. This could include family members, close friends, or even professional counselors specializing in grief counseling.
  • Coping mechanisms: Different coping mechanisms work for different people when dealing with grief. For example, some people find comfort in talking about their feelings. Others may prefer activities like exercise or creative pursuits such as writing or painting. Experiment with different tools until you find something that works best for you.
  • Your circumstances: Life circumstances will affect how quickly (or slowly) your grieving process progresses. If other areas of your life are going well, navigating grief might be more manageable. However, when life is more complex, it can compound the stress of your grief.
  • Physical health: Lastly, physical health should always be considered when processing intense emotional states associated with grief. When you’re run down physically, your mental state can be even more taxing.

What to Expect From the Stages of Grief

Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross first identified the stages of grief in the late 1960s. She pinpointed five distinct stages of grief.

Denial

Denial is often the first stage of grief, where an individual refuses to accept the reality of a loss. They may deny any feelings associated with their loss or attempt to avoid thinking about it altogether. This stage can help you cope with the shock of what’s happened and provide you with time to adjust before moving on to other emotions.

Anger

Anger is a common emotion during grief. It can manifest in various forms, like blaming yourself or others for what has happened or feeling frustrated about being unable to change the situation. Finding healthy outlets is essential if your anger becomes something you’re struggling to manage.

Bargaining

Bargaining occurs when you try (often subconsciously) to negotiate a way out of emotional pain. For example, you might make deals with yourself ( If I do X then Y won’t happen ) or with your higher power ( Please let me have one more day ). While this behavior might temporarily relieve emotional distress, it’s usually short-lived. Bargaining ultimately can’t address the underlying issues that must be faced for healing to happen.

Depression

Depression might follow bargaining, but it doesn’t always have to. As you accept reality, you might still feel overwhelmed by your sadness. This can lead to deep despair and intense feelings of hopelessness and helplessness.

Acceptance

Acceptance doesn’t mean forgetting what was lost, but instead it involves coming to terms with the absence and understanding how your daily life will continue. The acceptance stage might mean you’re having less intense emotions than you experienced during earlier phases. It allows you the space to heal emotionally and move forward again without feeling weighed down constantly by sadness and regret.

While these stages are commonly accepted as part of the grieving process, they may not necessarily occur in this order — or at all for some people. And for those who experienced an unexpected loss, they may have unresolved grief. Either way, grief is part of the healing process of moving on after losing a loved one.

Does Grieving Ever Stop?

Grieving never truly stops because our lives are forever changed when we lose someone we love. Over time, however, we can learn how to cope with our new reality. This allows us to start healing emotionally and can eventually lead us to acceptance. Of course, there will always be moments when you miss the person you lost.

“Grief is a complicated emotion and hard to truly define. However, it’s something that’s felt by just about every person. In that sense, grief doesn’t ever stop or go away. The pain of grief does lessen over time. The impact of the loss will always be there so the pain will always be there. It’s acknowledging that it exists and continuing to move forward with it.”

Talkspace therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC

How to Make Grief Easier to Cope with

Although there isn’t an exact timeline that answers how long should it take to grieve, there are some things you can do to make it easier to cope:

  • Allow yourself space and time – Give yourself permission, not only physically but mentally, to take breaks away from work/family commitments if needed. Give yourself plenty of space and quiet moments alone if you need them during your grief journey.
  • Take care of yourself – Make sure you take care of your physical needs. Eat healthy meals regularly and try to exercise daily — even a short walk can do wonders for your well-being. Do things that bring you joy. Read books, listen to music, be creative, and do anything you love. Doing small daily acts of self-care will help you slowly build resilience over time.
  • Seek help from professionals – Talking about your feelings with a therapist or counselor can be incredibly beneficial as you learn how to deal with grief. They can teach you effective grief therapy techniques that help you cope with the pain.

“There’s no quick tip or trick to hasten the grieving process, but there are ways to help a person cope with it and work through it in a healthy manner. Be sure to rely on your established grief support system, allow for the necessary emotions (even the ‘bad’ ones) to take purchase, and if it becomes too much, seek help, online or in person. Grief therapists specifically work with bereaved individuals struggling and can often lend insights and more coping skills to help.”

Talkspace therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC

Grief can be an overwhelming and difficult emotion to process. If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to get help through online grief counseling. Online therapy is a safe space that offers grief support and resources for navigating the grieving process. With professional guidance from Talkspace therapists specialized in bereavement, you can find relief from your sorrow and begin healing on your terms. Please don’t suffer alone — we’re here to help you navigate the grief process, no matter how long that takes.

Sources:

  1. Grief, bereavement, and coping with loss . PDQ Supportive and Palliative Care Editorial Board. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK66052/. Published October 18, 2022. Accessed December 21, 2022.

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17 Best Books About Grief [Therapist-Recommended] https://www.talkspace.com/blog/best-books-about-grief/ Tue, 21 Feb 2023 15:34:36 +0000 https://www.talkspace.com/blog/?p=29663 Updated 05/10/2024 The grieving process is complicated because grief works in different ways. No two people experience it…

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Updated 05/10/2024

The grieving process is complicated because grief works in different ways. No two people experience it the same way, there’s no definitive timeline for it, and it’s impossible to fake your way through. What we do know for sure about grief, though, is that we will get through it, even if it feels impossible right now. 

How you navigate the grieving process — and how long grief lasts — depends on many factors. Having a solid support system is instrumental in your healing. Online grief counseling and self-help tools can help, too. For some people, reading books about grief can be beneficial. That’s why we’ve compiled a list of the top 17 therapist-recommended books on grief.

If you or someone you love is grieving a loss, the following list of best books about grief can help. 

1. Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience by Brené Brown

Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown is a thoughtful and compassionate exploration of grief’s complexities. Through her own experiences and those shared by others, Brown offers insight into how to cope with loss in meaningful ways in one of the best grief books available.

“We get to explore what it means to experience 87 of the emotions and experiences that dramatically influence us. And! What we can do about them when we get flooded out with them.”

Talkspace therapist Meaghan Rice, PsyD, LPC

2. On Grief and Grieving by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler

Kübler-Ross first coined the five stages of grief and loss for us — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance — and On Grief and Grieving shares how we can walk through those stages with a comprehensive understanding of the grieving process. This grief book covers sections about sadness, dreams, isolation, and recovery.

“This book gives us a structured approach to grief and loss that allows for certain personality traits to grieve with a plan. It feels good to have a slice of control over our own grief journey.”

Talkspace therapist Meaghan Rice, PsyD, LPC

3. Grief One Day at a Time  – by Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt

Grief One Day at a Time: 365 Meditations to Help You Heal After Loss is an invaluable resource for anyone who’s experienced the loss of a loved one. Written by grief counselor and psychotherapist Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt, this book offers daily meditations that provide comfort and guidance through the grieving process, with support every day for 365 days after a loss. 

“Being in the present moment is a skill that we can learn to only process the things that are coming up for us now, rather than in the past or the future. It can reduce the overwhelm to live like this.”

Talkspace therapist Meaghan Rice, PsyD, LPC

4. Bearing the Unbearable by Joanne Cacciatore

The death of someone close is often so overwhelming that you feel alone in your pain. Cacciatore’s grief book helps readers understand their emotions and provides practical strategies for dealing with them healthily. Each short chapter can stand alone, walking with you as you navigate the grieving process.

5. How to Go on Living When Someone You Love Dies by Terese A. Rando

The goal is healing and finding peace in life again despite loss — something that may seem impossible right now but can become a reality over time with dedication and effort.

How to Go on Living When Someone You Love Dies offers comfort and support for people who are grieving. The book includes lessons on understanding your grief so you can let go, remembering how to take care of yourself along the way, getting through milestones like birthdays and holidays, and finding acceptance. 

6. I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye by Brook Noel

Coming to terms with loss is the most difficult part of grief. Though it’s natural to feel overwhelmed, in one of her books about grief, I Wasn’t Ready To Say Goodbye, author Brook Noel encourages the reader to look beyond their sorrow. She offers guidance and practical strategies on how to cope with the emotional and physical aspects of death and grief.

7. The Other Side of Sadness by George A. Bonanno, PhD

The Other Side of Sadness takes an unexpected look at and approach to grief. It goes beyond the traditional 5 stages of grief we’ve come to accept and anticipate, instead viewing the process as far from unpredictable. Bonanno acknowledges that we all have an incredible capacity for resilience as we face our grief. 

8. Straight Talk About Death for Teenagers by Earl A. Grollman

Written for teens who’ve experienced a significant loss, Straight Talk About Death for Teenagers shares what to do when coping with loss at such a young age. Approachable and relatable, this is one of those books on grief where Grollman brings light to a much-ignored segment of grief. This also is the best book for young people that are dealing with the loss of a parent.

9. It’s OK That You’re Not OK by Megan Devine

Written by someone who’s experienced her own devastating loss, Devine explores grief in her book through the lens that you shouldn’t necessarily be trying to get “back to normal.” Rather, true healing comes when you focus on forging a new path that encompasses your grieving heart as a part of your life moving forward. 

10. Surviving the Holidays Without You by Gary Roe

The pain of loss is amplified with each (and sometimes every) major holiday or significant date you must get through after you lose a loved one. Surviving the Holidays Without You gives a roadmap to turn painful holidays into days that can help you heal. 

11. Heartbroken by Gary Roe

Gary Roe makes our list twice with his book about how losing a spouse can cause a unique form of grief that’s both painful and, at times, explosive. In Heartbroken: Healing from the Loss of a Spouse, Roe helps you heal and get through the emotions common to this specific type of loss. 

12. Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig

If the traditional self-help format doesn’t resonate as you cope with loss, Reasons to Stay Alive addresses grief through a memoir. Walk with Haig as he recounts his loss and survival, overcoming the crisis and personal health struggles that almost took everything. 

13. The Comfort Book by Matt Haig

Yet another Matt Haig book makes our list. The Comfort Book is a thoughtful, reflective look at some of the darkest times Haig survived. His story is interwoven with references to historical, scientific, and worldly occurrences from our past, all in a true testament to the power of resilience. 

14. The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

The Year Of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion is an insightful look into what it means to grieve after losing someone close to you. While their daughter was in the hospital on life support, Didion’s husband suddenly and unexpectedly suffered a massive, fatal heart attack. Didion shares her thoughts on denial, guilt, anger, and acceptance as she helps the reader understand their feelings better and ultimately move forward.

15. Surviving the Death of A Sibling by T. J. Wray

Wray’s thoughtful look at her own loss acknowledges the difficulty of losing an adult sibling. While all losses are painful to overcome, there are unique challenges that come with siblings dying who are adults, have spouses, and possibly are already parents themselves. Surviving the Death of A Sibling explores how to navigate this very specific type of loss, with advice for understanding and managing each stage.

16. A Heart That Works by Rob Delaney

A Heart That Works shares comedian Rob Delaney’s poignant journey through the grief of losing his young son to a brain tumor. This book offers a raw, honest, and deeply personal account of his emotional rollercoaster, providing a unique perspective from a father’s viewpoint, which is often underrepresented in books on grief. Delaney’s narrative is both heart-wrenching and inspiring, making it a significant resource for any grieving parent, particularly fathers seeking connection and understanding in their sorrow.

17. Notes on Grief by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Notes on Grief is a powerful reflection on the personal nature of mourning, written after the sudden death of the author’s father. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie turns her formidable storytelling skills to her own grief, capturing the complex tangle of emotions that a grieving person navigates. 

The book is both a tribute to her father and a narrative that explores the universality and uniqueness of grief. Adichie’s candid and heartfelt prose provides comfort and understanding to anyone grappling with the loss of a loved one, making it one of the best books on grief.

Finding Support for Grief With Talkspace

If you’re searching for support and tools that will help you cope with grief, consider reading one of the recommended books in this list. If you are feeling overwhelmed and need more professional support, turn to Talkspace. You don’t have to deal with your grief alone. Online grief counseling at Talkspace can help you learn how to deal with grief by teaching you a variety of grief therapy techniques. Get connected today to start healing in your grief journey.

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Delayed Grief: When Grief Shows Up Later https://www.talkspace.com/blog/delayed-grief/ Tue, 21 Feb 2023 15:32:04 +0000 https://www.talkspace.com/blog/?p=29681 Whether it’s losing a parent, losing a spouse, or losing a child, grief is a necessary process for…

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Whether it’s losing a parent, losing a spouse, or losing a child, grief is a necessary process for closure. Grief is an emotion that can take many forms and show up in a variety of ways. There are many types of grief, such as complicated grief, chronic grief, anticipatory grief, disenfranchised grief, traumatic grief, unresolved grief, and ‘normal’ grief, and while some people may experience the grieving process immediately, others might have what’s known as a delayed grief response. Delayed grief occurs when the feelings associated with loss don’t come for weeks, months, or even years after the event.

Delayed grief can be hard to understand, and it’s not often talked about. Learning more about delayed grief and the symptoms and triggers that may cause it can help you, a family member, or a loved one navigate the grief process and start to heal. Continue reading to learn more about delayed grief. 

What is Delayed Grief?

Delayed grief is an emotional response to loss that doesn’t manifest until long after the initial event. It can be challenging to recognize because it often appears as if there’s no reason for sadness or other emotions related to grieving. 

This type of delayed grief trigger can occur due to shock, denial, guilt, or simply being overwhelmed by the situation. Some studies suggest that not immediately processing grief won’t always lead to delayed grief in the future, but more research is still needed. 

What triggers delayed grief?

Several things can trigger delayed grief, including traumatic events like death or divorce, significant life changes such as moving away from home, and unresolved issues from childhood like physical or emotional abuse or neglect. Other potential triggers may include physical illness, financial problems, and relationship difficulties. 

Regardless of what triggers grief, it’s important to remember that everyone grieves differently. There is no “right” way to do so – even if your feelings don’t surface immediately after your loss.

“Wakanda Forever, the latest Black Panther film, addressed the death of the main character/actor Chadwick Boseman. The writers focused on what happens when we hold on to guilt and shame surrounding the loss. Those feelings are often turned into anger directed outwardly. Chadwick’s death opened a larger conversation about grief.”

Talkspace therapist Dr. Karmen Smith LCSW DD

Symptoms of Delayed Grief

The symptoms associated with delayed grief response are similar to those experienced during acute bereavement (the period immediately following a death). 

Symptoms of delayed grief may include: 

Intense emotions like:

Physical symptoms like: 

  • Fatigue
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Changes in appetite
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Withdrawal from social activities
  • Feeling overwhelmed by everyday tasks
  • Lack of motivation 
  • Energy levels dropping significantly lower than usual

Additionally, some people may experience intrusive thoughts about their deceased loved one, which can lead to flashbacks or nightmares. As these dreams or thoughts fade away when reality sets back in, they can trigger another grief response. 

Causes of Delayed Grief

Even though it’s not unusual for people to experience delayed grief, it can be hard to understand why it happens. Here are some common causes of delayed grief:

You’ve had enough time after the loss

Sometimes, you need time to process your emotions before fully grieving. For example, when someone dies suddenly, you may not have had enough time to come to terms with their death and start grieving right away. Unfortunately, this means that your feelings may catch up with you later on down the line when you finally have enough space in your life for them.

The busyness is over

Another cause of delayed grief is related to the busyness that takes over following a loss. Taking care of practical matters like funeral arrangements, sorting out finances, and reaching out to friends and family might not leave much time for processing emotions. Then, once everything else has been taken care of, there’s nothing left but you and your feelings. This can lead to intense bouts of delayed grief surfacing in the future.

You’re faced with sudden reminders

Sometimes reminders from everyday life can trigger an unexpected wave of grief, according to studies. You might hear a song that reminds you of your lost loved one. You may see something they used to enjoy doing. These sudden interactions could bring up emotions without warning — even if it’s been months since their passing.

How to Deal With Delayed Grief: 6 Tips

Delayed grief can begin weeks, months, or even years after the death of a loved one. It’s important to acknowledge that delayed grief is just as valid and authentic as immediate grief. However, because of this (sometimes extensive) gap between loss and grief starting, it can be challenging to know how to navigate this time. 

Here are six tips on how best to deal with this type of complicated emotion:

1. Find support

Reach out for help if needed so you don’t feel alone during this difficult period. Talk openly about what you’re going through with people who’ll listen without judgment, such as close friends and family members who knew your lost loved one.  

2. Seek grief counseling

If talking doesn’t seem enough, consider seeking professional help with online grief counseling. Therapists trained in bereavement counseling can offer advice tailored to help you manage intense emotions stemming from delayed grief.

3. Practice mindfulness

Some quiet moments each day dedicated to activities like yoga, mindfulness meditation, or journaling can help clear your mind while allowing space for reflection. These acts can bring clarity to thoughts and emotions, potentially making healing easier.

4. Be kind to yourself

Remember that there’s no right way when it comes down to grieving, so allow yourself to take all the time necessary, without any pressure from anyone else. Self-care means not pushing yourself too hard, either. Get plenty of rest, eat healthy meals, and do something you enjoy daily. It can even be small things, like watching your favorite movie or walking in your favorite neighborhood.

5. Let yourself feel

Allow yourself to fully experience all the different emotions connected with losing someone. Don’t suppress your feelings or think you need to move on quickly. It’s ok to cry, shout, and scream — do whatever feels right for you because, eventually, those feelings will start to fade naturally once you express them.

“It’s important to know that the way you go through the loss of a loved one may look different from another person. There could be times when people may think you are not grieving the way they think you should. This is where self-awareness comes in. If you are aware that your view of the world has gotten more dark, scary or less loving after your loss, then you could be stuck in one of the stages of grief and may need help to move through it.”

Talkspace therapist Dr. Karmen Smith, LCSW, DD

6. Honor the loss

Lastly, find ways to honor the memory of the person you lost. This could mean creating a photo album full of pictures together, writing a poem, holding a memorial, or doing something meaningful that was important to them. Sharing stories with others can keep your loved one’s legacy alive forever, and that can help you move through the grieving process. 

“Many people focus on what they have lost, and there may not be much healing. Switching their focus to what they gained from that person being in their life can bring huge healing.”

Talkspace therapist Dr. Karmen Smith LCSW DD

Address Your Grief with Talkspace

Delayed grief occurs when you experience the death of a loved one but don’t process your emotions until much later. This can cause confusion and distress for those affected by delayed grief. Fortunately, there are ways to address this type of grief, including through online grief counseling with Talkspace. 

Online therapy services offer support for any grief, including when it’s delayed. By connecting with experienced therapists at Talkspace, you’ll have access to helpful resources and personalized guidance that helps you cope in these trying times. Join Talkspace today to start healing from delayed grief with effective grief therapy techniques.

Sources:

  1. Bonanno GA. Examining the Delayed Grief Hypothesis Across 5 Years of Bereavement. American Behavioral Scientist. 2001;44. doi:DOI:10.1177/00027640121956502. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0002764201044005007. Accessed December 21, 2022. 
  2. Wilson DM, Underwood L, Errasti-Ibarrondo B. A scoping research literature review to map the evidence on grief triggers. Social Science & Medicine. 2021;282:114109. doi:10.1016/j.socscimed.2021.114109. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S027795362100441X?dgcid=author. Accessed December 21, 2022. 

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