Teens - Talkspace

Do Therapists Tell Your Parents What You Talk About?

Jill E. Daino, LCSW-R — Fri, 04 Apr 2025 21:25:47 +0000

Going to therapy is courageous — you’re putting yourself first and committing to your emotional and mental well-being. Whether you’re a child or teenager struggling with social anxiety, depression, or any other mental health condition, seeking help through counseling is commendable. However, it’s also natural to feel a little nervous about the process or to wonder if it’s confidential for children and teens.

It’s normal for children and teenagers to want to know what therapists tell their parents after each session — but don’t let your fears keep you from getting help. In almost every instance, you can be confident that your therapist will keep any information you share private, ensuring your thoughts and feelings remain safe even if you have toxic parents. Being vulnerable can be scary, and it’s even more unnerving if you’re worried that your innermost secrets might be relayed to your parents or other people in your life. Rest assured, though, that’s not the norm in therapy. Therapists are bound by confidentiality, but there are exceptions where they might report certain details.

Keep reading to learn when, why, and how a therapist might — on a very rare occasion — share personal details about you and your sessions

Can a Therapist Ever Tell Your Parents What You Talk About?

Most of the time, no, your therapist won’t tell your parents what you talk about in sessions unless they have your consent. Confidentiality is a fundamental aspect of the patient-therapist relationship. It fosters trust and helps you feel at ease that you’re in a safe space to open up, share your feelings, and begin the process of healing.

That said, there are some exceptions. For example, if you tell your therapist that you’re feeling suicidal or have a plan to hurt yourself, they may be required to inform your parents or a trusted adult to ensure your safety. Similarly, if you disclose abuse or another situation where you’re in danger, they may have a legal obligation to report it.

If you’re under 18, confidentiality rules can be slightly different than for adults in therapy. Therapists may be required by law to share certain information with parents, guardians, law enforcement, or the courts in specific situations.

Confidentiality in Therapy

Research shows that therapy can be extremely effective for most people. How effective it is for you depends on several factors, including how much you trust your therapist. To fully open up in therapy sessions, it’s vital that you feel like your environment is safe.

Your therapist is bound by the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA), a federal law that protects your privacy. In many ways, it sets the foundation for feeling comfortable and secure when sharing thoughts and raw emotions in therapy. Not only is HIPAA in place to protect you, but mental health professionals are also bound by a strict Code of Ethics that obligates them to keep the information they learn from clients in sessions private.

“Feeling safe in therapy is crucial to being able to develop a relationship with your therapist and confidentiality is a key component in this process. Licensed mental health professionals hold confidentiality as a core value in working with any client. Therapy is a place where you are able to safely discuss concerns in your life, challenges you face, joys you experience and learn strategies to cope with life’s stressors – at school, with friends, or with family.”
– Talkspace therapist Jill Daino, LCSW-R, BC-TMH

When Therapists Might Have to Break Confidentiality

For the most part, therapists can’t share details about you or your sessions. However, there are some very specific exceptions to this general rule for both child, teenage, and adult clients. Knowing the circumstances under which therapists are allowed to breach confidentiality can help ease anxiety or fear during your sessions.

Risk of harm

Therapists are highly skilled and trained in teen suicide warning signs, knowing when a threat might be serious. If you express an urge or plan to harm yourself or someone else, and your therapist believes you’ll follow through, they may be required to alert your parents, the authorities, or — if it’s not a case of self-harm — the person you plan to harm.

Abuse or neglect

Therapists are required by law to inform the proper state agencies (child protective services) about any abuse or neglect they’re aware of when treating minors. Abuse isn’t always physical. It can be verbal, emotional, sexual, or financial. Another form of abuse is neglect, which is the failure to provide basic needs and comfort. If a therapist knows or suspects you’re being abused or neglected, they have an ethical and legal responsibility to act.

Legal requirements

While rare, there are times when a therapist can be subpoenaed to testify in a court of law. This is the least common reason they might share information from patient sessions. More often than not, a therapist will claim what’s known as “privileged communication” when being questioned.

If a therapist knows about a crime, whether or not they’ll report the information can depend on when it was committed. Was it something that happened in the past, is it still going on, or will it happen in the future? These are all considerations they’ll take into account when making a decision.

Parental consent

As a minor, if you’re engaging in behavior that’s risky or potentially harmful to yourself or others, your therapist might be required to tell a parent or guardian, especially if they’re the ones paying for your sessions.

Note that laws vary from state to state, so it’s a good idea to have an open conversation with everyone involved — your therapist, you, and your parents — early in the process. The therapist will explain when confidentiality might be broken so everyone understands the rules and knows what to expect.

How Can Teenagers Protect Their Privacy?

If you’re seeking therapy or considering the different types of therapy for teens, there are steps you can take to ensure you feel safe and that your privacy is protected during sessions. For example, you can:

Discuss any privacy concerns you have with your therapist before you start having sessions
Ask what the therapist can tell your parents
Learn about the limits of confidentiality

“Therapy is a great opportunity to learn new skills and practice speaking up for oneself. Since therapy looks a little different for each person, speaking up to your therapist about what is and is not working for you is crucial. Your therapist will appreciate this feedback as therapy is a collaborative process. Practicing advocating for yourself in therapy also helps as you can then use those same skills with others in your life, like speaking up to a teacher if you need extra help in a class.”
– Talkspace therapist Jill Daino, LCSW-R, BC-TMH

Start Secure, Confidential Therapy for Teens with Talkspace

Getting help from qualified, skilled mental health professionals is fast and accessible. Talkspace is convenient, offering therapy when and where it works with busy children and teens’ schedules. Talkspace makes online teen therapy easy, eliminating scheduling headaches or the need to commute to appointments. Plus, therapists on Talkspace follow the same strict privacy rules and ethical guidelines as in-person therapists, ensuring that every session is secure and confidential. With licensed professionals specializing in teen mental health, you can trust that anyone you work with will understand and empathize with your struggles.

The convenience of being able to message a therapist whenever you need or schedule regular video sessions (or do both) means therapy can be stress-free and comfortable. Talkspace also makes switching therapists a seamless process. If the first therapist you work with isn’t a good fit, you can request another one without missing a beat on your self-care journey.

Reach out today to learn more about online therapy for teens.

Sources:

Recognition of psychotherapy effectiveness. https://www.apa.org. https://www.apa.org/about/policy/resolution-psychotherapy. Accessed February 2, 2025.
Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996 (HIPAA). Public Health Law. Published September 10, 2024. https://www.cdc.gov/phlp/php/resources/health-insurance-portability-and-accountability-act-of-1996-hipaa.html?CDC_AAref_Val=https://www.cdc.gov/phlp/publications/topic/hipaa.html. Accessed February 2, 2025.
Ethical principles of psychologists and code of conduct. https://www.apa.org. https://www.apa.org/ethics/code. Accessed February 2, 2025.

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How To Tell if Your Teen Needs Therapy

Jill E. Daino, LCSW-R — Fri, 04 Apr 2025 21:25:23 +0000

Between school, social pressures, and the typical rollercoaster of teenage emotions, it’s normal for teenagers to struggle sometimes. But how do you know when it’s more than just typical teen angst? When should a teenager see a therapist?

Seeking therapy isn’t a last resort — it’s a proactive step toward emotional well-being that can give your child the skills and tools they need to succeed now and for years to come. If you’re wondering if your teenager needs counseling, the first step is recognizing the signs.

11 Signs Your Teenager Should See a Therapist

Knowing when your teen might need professional care and support isn’t always easy, especially when typical adolescent mood swings can mimic more serious concerns. However, certain behaviors and patterns can indicate that your child is struggling with something deeper and needs professional counseling for proper guidance.

1. Persistent sadness or depression

Mood swings in teenagers are normal and to be expected. However, persistent sadness that lasts for weeks or more may signal a more significant mental health issue. If your teen seems uninterested in activities they once loved, withdraws from friends or family, or frequently expresses feelings of hopelessness, they may be struggling with depression. Other signs can include:

Low energy
Sudden changes in motivation
Irritability
Trouble concentrating
Changes in sleeping or eating habits

2. Sudden or extreme behavioral changes

Some behavioral changes are part of normal development, like testing boundaries or forming new interests, but drastic or uncharacteristic shifts in behavior may be worth paying closer attention to.

“It is likely time to reach out for professional help if you notice a distinct change in your teen’s behavior or mood, for example, they have withdrawn dramatically from friends and usual activities, there is a significant change in their level of motivation, they are chronically or explosively angry, or there is a significant change in their eating habits or sleeping habits. While some of these things may happen for a day or two at times, if you notice a pattern over time it is always better to get help early so that your teen has the support they need to learn coping strategies for the stressors in their life and build a strong foundation.”
– Talkspace therapist Jill Daino, LCSW-R, BC-TMH

If your teen becomes increasingly aggressive, withdrawn, or reckless, it could be a response to emotional distress. Sudden changes in hobbies, loss of interest in personal hygiene, or unexplained defiance toward authority figures may indicate underlying issues challenging your teenager, such as anxiety, depression, or trauma.

3. Declining academic performance

A drop in grades is often one of the first indicators that a teen is struggling with their mental health. Anxiety, depression, or attention disorders can make it difficult for your child to concentrate, complete assignments, or stay motivated in school.

If your teenager frequently complains of feeling overwhelmed, avoids studying, or skips classes altogether, it may be time to intervene with the help of a mental health professional. Therapy can help teens identify emotional barriers affecting their academic performance and provide strategies to improve focus, time management, and self-confidence.

4. Social withdrawal & isolation

Everyone needs some alone time, and it’s natural for teens to go through phases where they prefer solitude. However, prolonged social withdrawal — such as consistently avoiding friends, dropping out of activities they used to like, or isolating themselves in their rooms for extended periods — may be indicative of emotional distress. This can look like making excuses to stay home, avoiding phone calls or messages, or showing disinterest in social events they used to look forward to. Excessive screen time can sometimes serve as a coping mechanism, too, allowing them to escape rather than engage.

5. Increased anxiety or excessive worrying

Suppose your teen constantly worries about school, friendships, or future uncertainties, experiences panic attacks, or avoids certain situations due to fear. In that case, it might be time to seek additional support for teen anxiety. Physical symptoms of anxiety, such as headaches, stomachaches, trouble sleeping, or restlessness, are essential to be aware of, too.

6. Self-harm or suicidal thoughts

If your teen is engaging in self-harming behaviors — such as cutting, burning, or scratching themselves — or has expressed a desire to harm themselves, it’s critical to take their words and actions seriously. While self-harm doesn’t necessarily indicate suicidal intent, it does indicate severe distress that requires immediate attention.

Additionally, if they express suicidal thoughts, feel like a burden, or withdraw entirely from family and friends, these are teen suicide warning signs that require immediate intervention. These behaviors aren’t just a phase or a way to seek attention; they’re cries for help that should be met with compassion, understanding, and swift action.

7. Substance use or risky behaviors

It’s natural for your child to experiment with new experiences, but if you notice a pattern of substance abuse or increasingly risky behaviors, it may be a sign of more serious mental health challenges. Sometimes, teens engage in these behaviors as a way to manage stress, numb uncomfortable feelings, or fit in with their peers.

Signs to look out for include changes in their personality, secrecy about their whereabouts, or avoiding eye contact when discussing their activities. You might notice missing money, bottles, or other paraphernalia, or they may seem more withdrawn, irritable, or impulsive.

Instead of assuming rebellion, approach the situation with curiosity and compassion. Ask open-ended questions, listen without judgment, and reassure them that they can talk to you about anything. A supportive, nonjudgmental conversation can help them to open up about what’s going on and help you understand what might be driving their behavior.

8. Drastic changes in sleep or eating habits

Noticeable changes in sleeping or eating habits can be subtle yet meaningful indicators of your teen’s mental health and emotional well-being. If your teen is sleeping excessively or struggling with persistent insomnia, it might be a sign of underlying stress, anxiety, or depression. Similarly, drastic changes in appetite — whether a noticeable increase or decrease — can point to emotional distress or even the early stages of an eating disorder. You might observe them skipping meals, overeating, or expressing negative thoughts about their body image.

9. Difficulty coping with a major life event

Major life events or disturbances — like a divorce, losing a loved one, moving to a new school, or dealing with bullying — can take a major toll on a teen’s sense of stability. While many adjust over time, others may struggle with overwhelming emotions, confusion, or a profound sense of isolation.

Take notice of any significant changes in their mood, a drop in school performance, increased irritability, or a reluctance to talk about their feelings. Every teenager processes change differently, but if they appear stuck in distress or unable to move forward, they may need extra support from family or professional counselors to navigate their emotions in a healthy way.

10. Frequent physical complaints without a clear medical cause

Frequent complaints of headaches, stomachaches, or fatigue without a clear medical cause may be a sign of underlying emotional distress. Sometimes, this can manifest as repeated requests to stay home from school, avoidance of their usual activities, or exhaustion despite adequate rest. If you notice persistent patterns, gently ask how they’re feeling and offer a safe space for them to share their emotions without pressure or judgment.

“It is not uncommon for stress, anxiety, or depression to manifest in teenagers (or any age person) in physical symptoms. For example, stomach aches, headaches, and complaints of pain are common ways for teenagers to express underlying experiences of mental health concerns. When there is no medical reason for these symptoms it is important to think about what might be contributing to your teen’s symptoms. Providing support and education that it is common for stress and anxiety to be experienced in the body and that it is important to talk through your stressors or anxious feelings is one way to start a conversation about mental health and how it relates to physical symptoms.”
– Talkspace therapist Jill Daino, LCSW-R, BC-TMH

11. They talk about their mental health

When your teen opens up about their emotions or asks about therapy or counseling, it’s important to put distractions aside and listen. Even if they don’t share many details, their willingness to talk is significant. Try to avoid rushing to fix things right away. Instead, listening with empathy can reassure them that their feelings are valid and reinforce that you’re there for them no matter what.

Let them know it’s okay to seek help and that therapy is a tool for emotional growth. Encouraging open dialogue, free from judgment, can make it easier for them to take the next step toward support and healing.

When To Take Action

Recognizing the signs of teen mental health struggles is the first step, but knowing when to act is just as important. Consider seeking professional help if:

These signs persist for more than a few weeks
Their symptoms impact daily life, school, and relationships
They express a desire for help but don’t know how to ask or what to do

Remember to trust your instincts, keep communication open, and remind your child that they’re not alone and you’re on their side.

How To Approach Your Teen About Therapy

Bringing up therapy can feel daunting, especially if your teen hasn’t asked for help directly, but finding the right type of therapy for your teen is imperative for their mental well-being.

“If your teen hasn’t brought up the idea of needing help it can feel tricky to suggest therapy, but the reality is the more you openly discuss concerns the easier it becomes while also decreasing embarrassment and isolation.”
– Talkspace therapist Jill Daino, LCSW-R, BC-TMH

Here are some ways to make the conversation easier:

Choose the right moment: Find a calm, private time to talk when neither of you feels rushed or stressed
Be compassionate, not judgmental: Focus on their feelings and well-being. Avoid labeling behaviors as “wrong” or “bad.”
Normalize therapy: Let them know that talking to a therapist is as normal as seeing a doctor for physical health concerns.
Give them a say: Let them be involved in choosing a therapist or deciding between in-person and online therapy.
Emphasize privacy: Reassure them that therapy is confidential and that anything they share with their therapist won’t come back to you if they don’t want it to.

“Approaching your teen with compassion and curiosity is key, explaining that therapy is a place for them to have a private space to discuss their concerns, stressors, and joys with a trusted adult who can help them sort through what is going on in their life and build coping strategies. Helping your teen understand that therapy is not because there is something “wrong” with them but that it is to offer an additional layer of support given all that they have going as a teenager is an important opportunity to help them understand the benefits without feeling pressure.”
– Talkspace therapist Jill Daino, LCSW-R, BC-TMH

Get Your Child the Support They Need

As a parent, you know your teen better than anyone. If you’re still unsure if your teen needs therapy, trust your gut. If your teen’s struggles are affecting their well-being or making life more complicated than it needs to be, seeking professional support can be life-changing for both of you.

At Talkspace, finding convenient and accessible therapy is easier than ever. Online therapy for teens offers a safe and private way for teens to get the help they need from the comfort of their homes. Don’t wait—mental health matters, and support is just a click away.

Sources:

6 facts parents should know about mental illness in teens. Penn Medicine. Published March 31, 2022. Accessed February 16, 2025. https://www.pennmedicine.org/updates/blogs/health-and-wellness/2017/may/teens-mental-health
Recognizing and easing the physical symptoms of anxiety. Harvard Health. Published August 1, 2020. Accessed February 17, 2025. https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/recognizing-and-easing-the-physical-symptoms-of-anxiety

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How To Deal With Being Away From Your Parents at College

Olga Molina, D.S.W., LCSW — Fri, 04 Apr 2025 21:05:46 +0000

Starting college is an exciting milestone for young adults, but it’s also a major life adjustment. Many college students struggle with being away from their parents at college, especially if it’s their first time living independently. Whether you’re in your first semester of college or your last, homesickness is a normal experience. It doesn’t mean you aren’t capable of adapting or succeeding — it’s simply a part of the transition.

If you’re feeling homesick, you’re not alone. Research shows that up to 70 percent of college students experience homesickness, especially in the first few weeks of the semester. Thankfully, there are effective ways to manage these emotions and have a fulfilling college experience. In this article, we’ll share some practical tips to help you cope with being away from home, embrace your independence, and maintain a healthy mindset throughout this new and exciting journey.

Tips for Managing Homesickness

Adjusting to college can feel like stepping into a whole new world. There are new responsibilities, new people, and unfamiliar environments — all of which can be thrilling and overwhelming. It’s important to remember that feeling out of place at first is completely normal. With time and effort, your new surroundings will start to feel more like home. The key is to find ways to bridge the gap between where you came from and where you are now.

Stay connected, but don’t overdo it

Maintaining communication with family and friends from home is essential, but relying too heavily on them can hinder your ability to adjust. Setting healthy boundaries around communication with parents and loved ones can help you stay connected while giving yourself space to grow into your new life on campus. Try scheduling phone or video calls once or twice per week, so you have a sense of continuity without feeling tethered to life back home. A consistent routine can help manage any homesick anxiety and provide a sense of stability in your new environment.

“It is important that college students are able to balance their need to be connected with home and to gradually build their independence. Maintaining communication with parents and siblings by regularly checking in with them is very helpful to students.”
– Talkspace therapist Dr. Olga Molina, D.S.W., LCSW

Visiting home a few times per semester can provide comfort and maintain your connection with family, but going home every weekend can cause you to miss out on important opportunities to bond with your peers and fully engage in campus life.

Create a routine to settle in

Establishing a daily routine can help ease the transition by creating a sense of normalcy. Starting your morning the same way each day — whether it’s grabbing a coffee from the same cafe, listening to a favorite podcast, or taking a short walk before class — can foster a sense of familiarity in a new environment.

“Students can feel more comfortable in their new environment by developing self-care routines and making new friends that can be part of their support system during the transition of leaving home and starting college.”
– Talkspace therapist Dr. Olga Molina, D.S.W., LCSW

Make your space feel like home

Your dorm is more than just a place to sleep — it’s your new home, and small touches can help it feel that way. Bring along a few favorite items that remind you of home, like cozy blankets, framed photos of friends and family, or even a scented candle that smells like home (as long as your dorm allows it!). String up some warm lights, add a soft rug, or put up some posters that bring you joy. Creating an inviting and personalized space can help you feel more settled and at ease in your new environment.

Establish new comforts

Finding new sources of comfort in your college setting can make a big difference in how you feel. Maybe it’s discovering a new coffee shop where you can focus and work, creating a playlist that makes you feel energized in the mornings, or joining a club on campus where you can make new friends. The key is to create small routines that give you something to look forward to, helping to replace what you miss from home while building new, meaningful experiences.

Seek out support on campus

While feeling homesick is completely normal, know that you don’t have to deal with it alone. College administrations know that many of their students struggle with homesickness, and many have resources and mental health tips for college students dedicated to easing the transition.

If you’re struggling, consider reaching out to your resident advisor — they’re trained to help students navigate campus life and connect you with additional support. Many schools offer student support groups as a way to connect with others who understand exactly what you’re going through. Sometimes, just having a dedicated space to talk through what you’re feeling can help alleviate the burden of homesickness college can bring and help you feel less lonely in college.

Join clubs and organizations

Getting involved isn’t just about filling up your schedule — it’s about creating connections that turn a campus into a community. It might feel scary at first, but joining a club, student organization, or sports team can introduce you to other people who share your interests and values.

Research shows that students who actively participate in campus activities experience greater growth, learning, and well-being. Putting yourself out there can be scary — but it’s an important step in finding your people and setting yourself up to succeed in college.

Develop healthy habits

When you take care of yourself, you’ll find it easier to handle the ups and downs of college life, and you’ll be better equipped to manage the waves of homesickness while away from family. It’s easy to get caught up in late-night study sessions or a new and exciting nightlife, but moderation can make a world of difference to your health and mental well-being. Making time for nutritious meals, regular movement, and a full night’s sleep can help you feel more grounded and energized.

Make new friends and find a support system

Making friends in college might feel intimidating, but remember, you’re not alone in this experience. So many students around you are feeling the exact same way — like a fish out of water, hoping to meet new people and find their place.

Introduce yourself to the person sitting next to you in class or attend a campus event that sounds fun. Even a simple “Hey, mind if I sit here?” or “I recognize you from my chemistry class, what did you think of the professor?” can open the door to a great conversation. The more you practice, the easier it will get, and the faster your support network will grow.

Embrace new experiences and independence

College is a time for growth, exploration, and self-discovery, but that doesn’t mean it’s without challenges, especially when you’re missing home. Independence isn’t about doing everything on your own — it’s about building a life that feels true to you. Reach out to your friends and family when you’re missing them most, but also challenge yourself to meet someone new every day. Say yes to a social event, even if you’re nervous. What’s the worst that could happen?

Every time you push yourself just a little outside your comfort zone, that comfort zone gets a little bit bigger. Tackling new challenges is part of growing up and leaving home, and facing them head-on can help you build crucial life skills to succeed in college and beyond.

Don’t neglect your mental health

College is hard, and change can be scary. Whether you’re struggling with your calculus homework or your mental health — help is available, and there’s no shame in asking for it.

If you’re struggling with homesickness, college resources are available. Many colleges offer free counseling services, peer support groups, and wellness programs designed specifically for students in your situation. Practicing self care techniques like journaling, meditating, exercising, or simply setting aside time for activities you enjoy can also make a big impact in managing stress and overcoming homesickness.

What To Do if You Need Extra Support

It’s normal for homesickness to come and go, but when feelings of stress, anxiety, or depression at college start interfering with your daily life — making it hard to concentrate in class, socialize, or even take care of yourself — it might be time to seek additional support. Feeling down from time to time is expected, but if these emotions persist or intensify, talk to someone about it.

It’s okay to lean on your parents for comfort, but make sure you’re also taking the initiative in seeking the help you need. Consider setting up an appointment with a campus counselor — they can help you process your feelings and develop strategies to cope. Platforms like Talkspace also offer affordable, online therapy for students seeking additional support during the transition to college life.

Building a Support System for Long-Term Well-being

Adjusting to college takes time, and support systems are essential for long-term well-being in every stage of life. Whether through friendships, mentorships, or a trusted therapist, having a strong support network will help you develop the tools you need to thrive.

Prioritizing your mental health is just as important as academic success. If you’re a homesick college student, consider getting started with online therapy for teens and young adults today. Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, adjusting to college life, or just need someone to talk to, Talkspace offers flexible and convenient options for busy college students who might just need a little extra help with how to deal with being away from their parents at college. No matter where you are in your journey, you’re not alone, and help is available.

Sources:

English T, Davis J, Wei M, Gross JJ. Homesickness and adjustment across the first year of college: A longitudinal study. Emotion. 2017;17(1):1-5. doi:10.1037/emo0000235 https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5280212/
Kilgo, C.A., Mollet, A.L., & Pascarella, E.T. The estimated effects of college student involvement on psychological well-being. Journal of College Student Development.2016;57(8):1043-1049. https://dx.doi.org/10.1353/csd.2016.0098.

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Teenage Emotions: Understanding & Helping Teens Manage Them

Cynthia V. Catchings LCSW-S — Wed, 19 Mar 2025 21:23:53 +0000

For parents, managing emotions during the teen years can be difficult at times. Your teenager is trying to figure out life, which might mean they challenge or disobey you from time to time. Throughout puberty, hormones rapidly change, and emotions run wild as teens try to navigate a fast-changing world, new academic stressors, social pressures, where they “fit in,” and so much more.

Adolescents experience a mental rollercoaster. It’s essential that teens have a safe space to turn to for support and understanding. Learning how to deal with teenage emotions ensures you can offer advice they’ll understand and appreciate during this pivotal time of their development. It’s crucial for teens to learn to manage emotions effectively.

Keep reading to explore why teen emotions can be so unpredictable, and to learn how you can help them during this transitional time in their lives.

Understanding the Factors That Influence Teen Emotions

Many factors need to be addressed when we discuss teenagers and their emotions. Some — like biological issues — are hard to understand and control unless you take the time to really learn about them. Others, like social and external factors, can be more easily managed once you know what you’re dealing with.

Biological factors

Hormones affect emotional regulation, and the surge of testosterone and estrogen teens experience can increase stress sensitivity and mood swings. The brain develops quickly during these years, and areas like the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for prioritizing, planning, and making good decisions, are often heavily impacted.

How the brain develops can make it tough for some children to use logic or understand their emotions. They’re more likely to be impulsive and to have increased emotional responses that parents may not initially understand due to intense feelings. Once you know why these thought and behavior processes are happening, it can be easier to react with empathy instead of frustration.

Social influences

Teenage emotions actually make a lot of sense when you look at the incredible social pressure they’re under. Beyond being acutely aware of (and sensitive about) how they look, how others perceive them, and how they “fit in,” social media complicates things even further. There’s the added stress of constantly comparing themselves to carefully curated and edited versions of teens all over the world. They’re trying to live up to impossible standards.

Social dynamics and family structure also shape teenagers’ experiences, influencing their behavior and emotions. Peer relationships can become a central focus for many teenagers. The desire for acceptance and belonging can impact self-esteem, connections with friends, and emotions, as adolescents attempt to navigate new friendships and relationships while trying to understand social hierarchies.

External pressures

Stress during the teen years doesn’t just come from social struggles or hormonal fluctuations. It can also be caused by external pressures, like academic demands or concerns about future changes. Teens are expected to do well in school, manage their time, and excel in sports, clubs, and other after-school activities. Some work part-time jobs or take test prep classes, adding even more to already-packed days.

Learning how to balance everything can cause adolescents to experience anxiety, feel frustrated, or start to withdraw. When you can recognize the weight of the pressures teens are under, you can offer encouragement, support, and reassurance that this time in their lives won’t last forever.

How to Support Teens in Dealing with Their Emotions

Supporting your teenager as they learn to control their emotions is critical. You’ll need patience and understanding to gain your teen’s trust, and the strategies here, combined with intentional effort, can help you. Here are effective, practical ways to support your teenager.

Encourage open communication

Open communication is key to a healthy parent-child dynamic. Having a safe environment is essential when helping teens express emotions — they’re more likely to ask for support and guidance if they feel like they can talk to you. Make sure they know you’re there and don’t have to worry about harsh judgment or criticism. Ask open-ended questions (instead of yes-no ones) to encourage more dialogue. Above all, make sure they know you truly value their feelings.

Listen actively

Engaging in deep, meaningful conversations with your teen may feel impossible. That’s why, even when they open up in a small way, it’s important that you listen and give them your full attention. Active listening is a proven tool for effective communication— one that requires patience, empathy, and restraint. Instead of interrupting, trying to ‘fix’ the problem, or reacting dismissively, focus on understanding their perspective.

In other words, be quiet and resist the urge to respond with phrases like “It’s not that bad” or “It could be worse.” Instead, try to be reassuring. When there’s a break in the conversation, you can reply with compassion, using phrases like “I understand how that must make you feel” or “That sounds really tough.” This approach can make a world of difference in navigating teenage emotions.

Validate their emotions

Emotions run high for most teenagers, but even if they seem unreasonable or over the top, you want your teen to feel validated. Teenagers need to believe that you understand their feelings and the importance of emotional and mental health. Try not to minimize experiences they share with you — for example, don’t say things like “You’ll get over it” or “It’s not that big of a deal.” Acknowledging their feelings helps them feel calm, heard, and understood.

Foster emotional awareness

Helping your child recognize and express their emotions is one of the most valuable skills they can develop. When teens can name what they’re feeling—whether it’s anger, frustration, or sadness—they’re better equipped to handle those emotions in a healthy way.

But emotional awareness doesn’t come naturally to everyone. You can support your child by introducing simple, everyday habits that help them tune into their feelings, such as:

Journaling: Writing down their thoughts can help them process emotions and identify patterns.
Mood-tracking apps: A quick check-in can make it easier to recognize emotional shifts over time.
Open conversations: Encouraging honest, judgment-free talks about their day teaches them that emotions are normal and manageable.

By making emotional awareness a regular part of their routine, you’re giving your child a lifelong tool for managing stress, building resilience, and strengthening relationships.

Suggest healthy coping skills

It’s crucial that teens learn a variety of coping skills to help them manage emotions in a healthy way. In fact, studies show that teens with multiple coping techniques have better academic success, higher self-esteem, and less suicide ideation.

Encourage your teen to use coping skills like:

“Using evidence-based techniques like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to help teens identify and challenge negative thoughts with the help of a professional is important. CBT encourages teens to reframe irrational beliefs, replacing them with more balanced perspectives. Additionally, mindfulness practices such as deep breathing or guided meditation can help reduce stress, increase emotional awareness, and promote relaxation during difficult moments.”
– Talkspace therapist Dr. Cynthia Catchings, LCSW-S, LCSWC

Promote self-compassion

Self-compassion is a skill that helps reduce harmful self-talk and foster resilience. It teaches teenagers to reframe perceived failures as opportunities. When teens learn self-compassion, they tend to be less overwhelmed when they make mistakes. With every disappointment comes a chance for growth, and it’s important for teenagers to understand that everyone struggles in life.

“Teaching teens self-compassion is a key factor in building emotional resilience. By practicing self-kindness and avoiding harsh self-judgment, teens can better cope with setbacks. Practical exercises might include journaling positive affirmations or using a “self-compassion break,” where teens pause to speak kindly to themselves in moments of struggle.”
– Talkspace therapist Dr. Cynthia Catchings, LCSW-S, LCSWC

Support healthy habits

Research suggests that healthy habits have a significant impact on emotional well-being. Help your teen by encouraging them to get good sleep, eat a well-balanced diet, maintain positive social connections, and prioritize self-care for teens. Studies also show that regularly working out can stabilize mood swings and improve negative emotions. Healthy lifestyles, in general, will improve your teenager’s ability to cope with stress.

Respect their need for space

Your teen is growing, grappling with new emotions, responsibilities, and a deepening desire for independence. It’s a tricky phase for any parent. On one hand, you want to give them the space they crave, but on the other, you want to make sure they know you’re always there when they need you.

Respecting their need for space doesn’t mean stepping back completely. It means creating a balance—allowing them room to process their emotions while making it clear you’re a safe and reliable presence in their life. Let them know they can come to you on their terms, whether that’s through late-night chats, casual car rides, or simple check-ins.

By giving them the freedom to navigate their feelings with your steady support in the background, you’re helping them build confidence in managing emotions—preparing them for the day when they’ll have to do it on their own.

Set boundaries with compassion

Boundaries are crucial during the adolescent years. Even if your teenager resists, clear and consistent limits provide both safety and the freedom to explore independence. While they may not always show it, teens who have well-defined boundaries tend to feel more secure and develop stronger, more trusting relationships with their parents.

The key is to communicate boundaries with empathy. Instead of enforcing rules without explanation, involve your teen in the conversation. When they understand the why behind your expectations, they’re more likely to respect them—and you.

Model emotional regulation

Like all children, teenagers learn about the world by watching the adults in their lives. The way you handle stress, frustration, and conflict shapes their own approach to emotional regulation. When you stay calm during disagreements, express frustration respectfully, and respond to challenges with a level head, you’re showing them what healthy emotional management looks like.

Your actions speak louder than words. By modeling patience, empathy, and constructive communication, you’re giving your teen a blueprint for handling their own emotions—one they’ll carry with them for life.

“Teens are highly impressionable and often look to adults, such as parents, teachers, or mentors, for emotional cues. The behaviors and emotional responses they observe in these adults serve as models for how they manage their own feelings and relationships. Positive emotional regulation, empathy, and healthy coping mechanisms demonstrated by adults can greatly influence a teen’s emotional development, while negative or unregulated emotional responses may lead to challenges in their own emotional growth.”
– Talkspace therapist Dr. Cynthia Catchings, LCSW-S, LCSWC

Get professional help with teen counseling

If you’re struggling to connect with your teen or feel like your teen is out of control, it might be time to consider therapy. Professional mental health guidance can be a game-changer if you feel like your child’s emotions are unmanageable or they’re interfering with daily life and functioning. A skilled therapist can offer teens valuable, effective skills to help them navigate this challenging time in life. It can also help you understand the best ways to help.

Support Your Teen’s Emotional Journey with Talkspace

The teen years are critical. Identifying and managing emotions is a lifelong skill that allows adolescents to grow into successful, confident, resilient adults. If your teenager needs help and you don’t know what to do, Talkspace excels at helping teens express emotions in healthy ways.

Talkspace is an accessible, affordable, proven resource that offers online teen therapy. Therapy can be a safe space where teens can explore confusing emotions, discover healthy coping mechanisms, and practice emotional regulation in a supportive environment.

Whether it’s learning grounding techniques or anger management strategies for teens, Talkspace can help your child navigate their emotions. Reach out to Talkspace today to learn more about online therapy for teens.

Sources:

The Teen Brain: 7 Things to Know. National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/the-teen-brain-7-things-to-know. Accessed January 17, 2025.
Weger H, Castle GR, Emmett MC. Active listening in peer Interviews: The Influence of message paraphrasing on perceptions of listening skill. International Journal of Listening. 2010;24(1):34-49. doi:10.1080/10904010903466311. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10904010903466311. Accessed January 17, 2025.
Heffer T, Willoughby T. A count of coping strategies: A longitudinal study investigating an alternative method to understanding coping and adjustment. PLoS ONE. 2017;12(10):e0186057. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0186057. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5642021/. Accessed January 17, 2025.
Carrizales LM, Vilca LW, Santiago-Vizcarra C, Fernández YS, Caycho-Rodríguez T. Impact of healthy lifestyles on mental health indicators in adolescents after the COVID-19 pandemic. Mental Health & Prevention. Published online October 1, 2024:200371. doi:10.1016/j.mhp.2024.200371. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2212657024000539. Accessed January 17, 2025.
Wang T, Li W, Deng J, Zhang Q, Liu Y. The influence of physical exercise on negative emotions in adolescents: a meta-analysis. Frontiers in Psychiatry. 2024;15. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2024.1457931. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11588725/. Accessed January 17, 2025.
U of U Health Authors, Marketing and Communication. Setting healthy boundaries with your teen. University of Utah Health | University of Utah Health. https://healthcare.utah.edu/healthfeed/2023/05/setting-healthy-boundaries-your-teen. Published May 25, 2023. Accessed January 17, 2025.

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How Much Does Teen Therapy Cost?

Jill E. Daino, LCSW-R — Wed, 19 Mar 2025 21:23:00 +0000

Navigating the teenage years can be a complex and challenging journey for both teens and their parents. During this time, the teenage brain is rapidly growing and changing, and hormones are at an all-time high. These biological changes, combined with social challenges and teenage emotions, make adolescence a critical period for mental health. As a result, many teens are vulnerable to mental health issues like anxiety and depression, as well as struggles with building peer relationships and dealing with academic stress.

In-person or online therapy for teen counseling can be a vital tool in providing the support teens need to thrive. If you think your child could benefit from therapy but are wondering how much teen therapy costs, read on to learn more. This guide will break down the factors influencing counseling and therapy costs for teens, ways to manage expenses, and affordable options for getting your teen the support they need.

Average Cost of Teen Therapy

The cost of teen therapy can vary depending on several factors, including the type of therapy, the therapist’s experience, and whether insurance is involved. Without insurance, a therapy session for child therapy typically ranges from $60 to $150. However, if you have insurance, your out-of-pocket costs could drop significantly, usually between $20 and $60 per session.

Insurance coverage can play a big role in making therapy more affordable. Many insurance plans cover mental health services, including both in-person and online therapy. To avoid surprises, it’s always a good idea to check with your insurance provider to confirm what’s covered before you invest in mental health care and begin therapy for your teenager. This will help ensure you’re prepared for the costs and get the support your teen needs.

Factors That Influence Teen Therapy Costs

The cost of therapy for teens can vary based on several key factors, including the type of therapy, the therapist’s qualifications and experience, your location, and the length of each session.

Type of therapy

The type of therapy your teen needs can significantly impact the overall cost. Here’s a breakdown of some common types of therapy for teens:

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): Commonly used for issues like anxiety, depression, and substance use disorders, CBT for teens is generally a mid-range option in terms of cost.
Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT): Often used for teens with emotional regulation issues, DBT for teens is more specialized and may come with a higher price tag.
Art or music therapy: Creative therapies can be highly effective for teens. If they’re struggling to find the right words to fit their emotions and feelings, different forms of expression can provide relief. These forms of therapy typically cost less than traditional talk therapy.
Trauma-focused therapy: Trauma-focused therapy is a subtype of CBT, often best for teens who have experienced significant trauma. However, it can also be the most expensive because it usually requires many sessions over a 10- to 12-week period

Provider credentials

A therapist’s qualifications and experience level are crucial factors that influence the cost of therapy for teens. For example, sessions with a master’s level mental health provider, such as a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) or Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC), are often more affordable than those with a clinical psychologist (PhD) or psychiatrist (MD). However, psychiatrists can prescribe medications, which may be necessary for treating certain mental health conditions. It’s also important to note that many psychiatrists refer clients to other mental health professionals for psychological support, working in tandem with them to provide comprehensive care.

When seeking therapy for issues like depression or anger management for teens, it’s important to choose a therapist with specialized training in those specific adolescent mental health concerns. This ensures they have the expertise needed to address the unique challenges teens face. Always take the time to verify your therapist’s credentials to ensure your child receives the highest quality care.

Location

Geography can significantly influence therapy costs. Urban areas generally have higher costs than rural ones due to higher demand and increased operating expenses. For families in smaller towns or rural locations, online therapy can be a cost-effective alternative, often costing less than in-person therapy while providing similar levels of teen counseling care.

It’s also important to consider that in rural or ethnically specific communities, the mental health professional may be someone the teen or family knows outside of the therapeutic setting. This familiarity can make it more challenging to seek local therapy, adding another layer to the decision-making process when it comes to mental health support.

Session length

A typical therapy session lasts between 30 and 60 minutes. Longer sessions may cost more, but the ideal length depends on your teen’s unique needs. Shorter sessions may be a better option for younger teens or when focusing on specific issues. Your therapist may also offer lower rates for booking packages of multiple sessions.

“While therapy is not one size fits all, and it takes time for the therapist and teen to get to know one another, the key component is building a trusting relationship. You might find that sometimes it feels like the session drags on and on because you aren’t sure what to talk about, and other times it flies by because you have so much to say. In general, 45-50 minutes for a session allows for enough time to discuss any ongoing concerns and practice any skills or strategies that may be needed.”
– Talkspace therapist Jill Daino, LCSW-R

How To Pay for Your Teen’s Therapy

If you’re concerned about the cost of therapy for your teen, several strategies and resources are available to mitigate expenses.

Check your health insurance

Start by reviewing your health insurance policy to see what mental health services are covered and find a therapist covered by your insurance. Many insurance plans include therapy sessions for teens, which could significantly bring down your out-of-pocket costs. Be sure to confirm whether your preferred therapist is in-network to avoid surprise expenses.

Utilize FSAs or HSAs

If your employer offers a flexible spending account (FSA) or health savings account (HSA), these can help a lot with costs, too. These accounts allow you to set aside pre-tax dollars for medical expenses, which may include therapy sessions for your children. This can help lower the financial burden while ensuring your teen gets the right care. Be sure to keep all documentation for your expenses and claims, as they might be required to verify your eligibility.

Consider sliding-scale arrangements

Some providers offer sliding-scale therapy fees based on income to make therapy more accessible. Don’t hesitate to ask your therapist if they offer this option. It can be an excellent way to find affordable therapy without compromising quality.

Look into school resources

Many schools provide free or low-cost counseling services to support students. School counselors are available to help with a range of challenges, from academic stress to navigating peer relationships. In some cases, schools also collaborate with external mental health organizations to provide more extensive care, ensuring students have access to the resources they need for their well-being.

Search for free or low-cost mental health resources

Local community centers, nonprofit organizations, and religious institutions may offer free or low-cost mental health resources to teens. Accessing these resources can make a big difference in securing the care and support needed. Additionally, programs like Medicaid and the Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP) provide coverage for eligible families, reducing the cost of therapy and mental health services for teens.

Find Your Teen Support With Affordable Online Therapy

Online therapy can be a great option for families with busy schedules, as it eliminates the need for travel and offers greater flexibility in scheduling. Platforms like Talkspace offer online therapy for teens at a lower cost than most traditional, in-person therapy. With or without insurance, Talkspace offers affordable and accessible mental health care so your teen can get the support they need.

Sources:

How much does therapy cost? Thervo.com. Updated January 19, 2024. Accessed January 23, 2025. https://thervo.com/costs/how-much-does-therapy-cost
Ramirez de Arellano MA, Lyman DR, Jobe-Shields L, et al. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy for children and adolescents: Assessing the evidence. Psychiatr Serv. 2014;65(5):591-602. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ps.201300255
Eligible health care FSA (HC FSA) expenses. FSAFeds.gov. Accessed January 23, 2025. https://www.fsafeds.gov/explore/hcfsa/expenses?q=therapy&take=100
Mental health. InsureKidsNow.gov. Published 2025. Accessed January 23, 2025. https://www.insurekidsnow.gov/initiatives/mental-health

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What To Do if Your Teenager Is Out of Control

Jill E. Daino, LCSW-R — Wed, 19 Mar 2025 21:22:42 +0000

When your teenager’s behavior becomes out of control, it can feel like you’re standing on shifting ground. It’s not uncommon for parents to think their teen is out of control, or to wonder if things will ever return to normal. The truth is that out-of-control teen behavior often reflects deeper struggles rather than defiance for the sake of teenage rebellion. With patience, understanding, and strategic action, you can guide your teenager — and yourself — toward calmer waters.

We’ll explore what to do when your teenager is out of control and offer actionable strategies to create stability and strengthen your relationship with your child.

Stay Calm and Composed

No matter the situation, it’s important to stay calm — even when their actions push every button. Reacting emotionally can escalate tensions and make it harder to connect. Instead, focus on responding with intention. Take a moment to breathe and consider how you ideally want to respond before addressing a heated situation. Remember, kids often mirror the reactions they observe in adults, making it crucial to remain composed.

If tensions are high and your teenager is angry, taking a moment to step away and collect yourself—while calmly suggesting your child do the same—can help diffuse the situation. By modeling calmness and self-control, you not only de-escalate the moment but also set a positive example for your child during these critical years.

Establish Open Communication

One of the most effective ways to address challenging behavior is to strengthen your communication. Teens often act out because they feel misunderstood or unheard. Creating a safe, judgment-free environment where they feel safe to share their feelings is the first step toward progress. When your teenager expresses emotions and feelings, practice active listening by:

Making eye contact
Avoiding interrupting or thinking about your response while they’re still talking
Acknowledging their emotions without blame or reactivity

Instead of saying, “Why are you always so disrespectful?” try, “I can see you’re upset. Can you help me understand what’s going on?” By validating their emotions and staying curious, you can build empathy and maintain positive engagement. It’s important to be aware of your body language, too. A rigid posture, avoiding eye contact, sighing, or placing your hands on your hips can be counterproductive to building healthy, open communication.

Set Clear Boundaries and Enforce Consistent Consequences

Teenagers may resist structure, but clear boundaries can actually help them feel safe and secure. Clearly communicate your expectations and the consequences for breaking rules, focusing on fostering healthy behavior in your child. Consistency is key — without it, teens may test their limits or see what they can get away with.

For example, if their curfew is 10 pm, enforce it with compassion, even if it causes conflict in the short term. Try to avoid overly harsh punishments, as these can lead to resentment. Instead, focus on consequences that align with the behavior, such as reduced screen time or a temporary loss of privileges.

Address Underlying Causes

It can feel impossible to know what to do when your teenager is out of control. A good place to start might be digging deeper and trying to figure out the source of the issue. Consider what started this change in your teen’s behavior, whether it’s acting out from emotional or mental health issues or school-related trouble.

Common causes of behavioral problems in teens

Oftentimes, out-of-control teen behaviors are a sign of something deeper going on. Understanding the root causes can help you support your child through these challenging years. Common triggers include:

Academic pressure: Teens today face intense pressure to balance school, extracurriculars, and social lives, which can quickly become overwhelming.
Bullying or peer pressure: Social struggles often fuel anger, withdrawal, or risky behaviors as your teen tries to navigate friendships and fitting in.
Hormonal changes: The hormonal shifts during adolescence can make it harder for teens to manage their moods and impulses, leading to emotional rollercoasters.
Mental health conditions: Understanding the root causes of out-of-control behavior often involves looking at your teen’s mental health, as struggles like anxiety, depression, or stress can manifest through their actions. Disorders like depression, anxiety, and ADHD are on the rise among teens, and they often result in defiance or mood swings.
Substance use: Experimenting with drugs or alcohol can worsen behavioral and emotional struggles, making it harder for your teen to cope.

If you notice these signs in your child, it’s crucial to act sooner rather than later. Identifying the underlying issue helps you find the right support—whether it’s therapy, academic help, or peer group interventions—so your teen can feel understood and get the guidance they need.

“Adolescence is a time of great growth and change and can also be quite overwhelming. Given that there are so many stressors during this life stage, intervening early when you have concerns about your teenager’s well-being is vital. Intervening early builds a foundation for success before the concerns develop into a more complex struggle.”
– Talkspace therapist, Jill Daino, LCSW-R

Strengthen Your Relationship With Them

When parenting an out-of-control teen, it’s crucial to remind them that you’re in their corner, even during challenging times. Research shows that parental emotional support during the formative years of adolescence has long-term benefits for both physical and mental health. Make time for your teenager—without any expectations. Whether you’re watching a movie, cooking together, attending school events, or diving into a shared hobby, these simple moments go a long way in rebuilding trust. They show your teen that they are loved, valued, and supported, no matter what.

Even the smallest gestures, like leaving an encouraging note or sending a quick text to check in, can make a huge difference. Your consistent support and unconditional love become one of the most important stabilizing forces in your teen’s life, especially during these challenging years.

Seek Professional Support

If you’re at your wit’s end about what to do with an out-of-control teenager, it might be time to reach out for professional help. Therapists and counselors can equip both parents and teens with strategies to manage difficult dynamics more effectively. Family therapy, in particular, can be a helpful option, offering a neutral space where a therapist can guide conversations and help everyone feel heard. Some schools also offer counseling services, so don’t hesitate to explore academic programs that could provide extra support.

For additional help, Talkspace offers online therapy tailored for teenagers and their parents. With non-judgmental support in a private setting, online therapy provides your teen a safe space to share their feelings and learn valuable tools to better manage their emotions.

“Working with a licensed mental health professional offers many benefits to both the teenager and the adults in their life. Working with a licensed mental health professional allows your teenager to build skills and learn to navigate the big emotions of adolescence in a safe environment with a trusted adult.”
– Talkspace therapist, Jill Daino, LCSW-R

Limit Access to Negative Influences

When your teen is acting out, their environment often plays a big role in shaping their behavior. That includes your child’s social circle and what they see online. Negative peer pressure or unhealthy social media habits can quickly fuel troubling behavior, as the effects of social media on teens often amplify feelings of anxiety, insecurity, and pressure to conform.

As a parent, it can feel like a tricky balancing act. Trying to control who they spend time with or restricting their social media can backfire, leaving both of you frustrated. But addressing issues early is key. Instead of imposing strict rules, try working with your teen to spot unhealthy relationships or habits. Encourage them to surround themselves with positive influences and set reasonable limits on screen time.

By teaming up with them, you empower your teen to make better choices—helping them take ownership of their decisions, rather than feeling like they’re being controlled.

Encourage Positive Outlets

When you’re faced with an out-of-control teenager, it’s helpful to think about healthier ways they can channel their energy. Encourage activities that match their interests—whether that’s sports, art, music, or volunteering. These serve as crucial self-care ideas for teens, helping them reduce stress and build self-esteem.

A teen dealing with anger or aggression might find relief through activities like boxing or running, releasing pent-up emotions in a constructive way. Meanwhile, another might discover outlets through painting or journaling. Adding routine and structure to their day can further support positive habits, giving them a sense of purpose and helping them focus their energy in a meaningful way.

Educate Yourself

During adolescence, your teen’s brain undergoes major changes, especially in the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that helps with decision-making, impulse control, and reasoning.

This area also helps regulate the emotional impulses coming from the amygdala, or emotion center, which becomes super active during the developmental years of adolescence. This can result in impulsive, emotionally charged behavior. At the same time, the brain is pruning away unused neural connections and strengthening others, making teens more sensitive to peer influence and more likely to take risks.

While these changes don’t excuse problematic behavior, they do shed light on why teens may struggle with self-regulation or make risky choices. Understanding these developmental shifts allows you to approach challenges with more empathy and adopt strategies that support your child’s growth. There are plenty of resources—books, workshops, and parenting courses—that offer insights and strategies. Online communities can also connect you with other parents facing similar situations, giving you extra support on this journey.

Maintain a Safe Environment

When it comes to raising healthy kids and supporting troubled teens, a safe environment is crucial—physically and emotionally. Start by removing or securing anything that could pose a danger, like alcohol, weapons, or prescription medications.

Emotional safety is just as important. Make sure your teen knows that home is a place where they’re free to be themselves, without fear of judgment or hostility. Encourage open conversations, listen without interrupting, and model calm, constructive responses when tensions rise. This creates a positive example of how to handle conflict and lets them know that no matter what, they have a safe space to land.

Be sure to work with their school to ensure that their support system is strong and consistent both at home and in the classroom.

Practice Patience

Change takes time, and the journey is often slower than we’d like. Patience is key—remember that progress is made in small, steady steps. Celebrate even the tiniest victories, whether it’s a successful conversation or a good decision, as these moments build momentum and boost confidence for both you and your teen.

Setbacks will happen—that’s part of the process. But with persistence, understanding, and consistency, lasting change is possible. Your support and belief in your teen’s potential can make all the difference, giving them the confidence to keep moving forward, no matter the bumps along the way.

Moving Forward as a Family

Parenting an out-of-control teenager is a marathon, not a sprint. While the day-to-day challenges can feel overwhelming, it’s important to focus on long-term growth rather than immediate perfection.

Equally vital is the process of forgiveness — both for your teen and yourself. Mistakes, heated moments, and missteps will happen on both sides, but every day offers a chance for a fresh start. By choosing to forgive and move forward, you teach your teen the value of resilience and grace.

If you’re still thinking your teenager is out of control and don’t feel like you can handle the situation on your own, resources are available. Talkspace can be an incredible resource for both parents and teens seeking professional help to navigate these difficult years. Online therapy for teens can provide the guidance and tools needed to navigate this tough period and help your child thrive. Don’t hesitate to reach out for support—you don’t have to do it alone.

Sources:

Tree of parenting and knowledge. Teaching from the ACT Program. American Psychological Association. Published 2019. Accessed January 25, 2025. https://www.apa.org/act/resources/act-tree-learning.pdf
Developing adolescents: A reference for professionals. American Psychological Association. Published 2002. Accessed January 25, 2025. https://www.apa.org/topics/teens/developing-adolescents-professionals-reference
Tennant K, Butler TJT, Long A. Active Listening. NIH.gov. Published September 13, 2023. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK442015/
Setting healthy boundaries with your teen. University of Utah Health. Published May 25, 2023. Accessed January 25, 2025. https://healthcare.utah.edu/healthfeed/2023/05/setting-healthy-boundaries-your-teen
Teens’ risky behavior is about more than race and family resources. Apa.org. Published 2025. Accessed January 23, 2025. https://www.apa.org/monitor/jan01/teenbehavior
Chen E, Brody GH, Miller GE. Childhood close family relationships and health. Am Psych. 2017;72(6):555-566. doi:https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0000067
Hurd NM, Zimmerman MA, Xue Y. Negative adult influences and the protective effects of role models: a study with urban adolescents. J Youth Adolesc. 2008;38(6):777-789. doi:https://doi.org/10.1007/s10964-008-9296-5
Katella K. How social media affects your teen’s mental health: a parent’s guide. Yale Medicine. Published June 17, 2024. Accessed January 25, 2025. https://www.yalemedicine.org/news/social-media-teen-mental-health-a-parents-guide
The teen brain: 7 things to know. National Institute of Mental Health. Accessed January 26, 2025. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/the-teen-brain-7-things-to-know
Parenting teens. NIH News in Health. Published May 28, 2019. Accessed January 25, 2025. https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2019/06/parenting-teens

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11 Anger Management Techniques for Teens

Reshawna Chapple, PhD, LCSW — Wed, 19 Mar 2025 21:22:02 +0000

Anger is a natural human emotion. Sometimes, it’s even helpful. People experience anger throughout life — infants who are hungry, young children who don’t want to share a toy, and adults who’ve been wronged can all become angry with their situations. The feeling is especially common during the teen years, though, when hormones are raging, social pressure can be crushing, and emotions are heightened. Many teenagers feel confused about their anger, yet most lack the coping skills to understand or navigate their feelings.

Effective anger management for teens is a life skill every adolescent can benefit from. It’s essential for maintaining mental health and strong relationships. If teens can’t control their anger, it negatively impacts family connections, strains relationships, and causes long-term emotional stress.

Keep reading to learn actionable anger management strategies for teens that can help them channel their anger so that uncontrolled anger doesn’t harm their lives.

1. Learn to Recognize Early Triggers of Anger

The first step in controlling anger is recognizing what causes it. By identifying triggers early, teens can manage their anger more effectively. Anger may stem from family dynamics, school pressures, or social interactions. Triggers can also be internal, based on thoughts and emotional responses. Teens often feel judged, misunderstood, or frustrated by not knowing how to handle criticism. You might be dealing with unfair treatment or upset about something happening in your social circle.

“A “trigger” can result from a smell, a memory, a word, etc. A trigger can mentally return someone to a negative event or a previous trauma. This can cause someone who is in recovery to relapse. It’s important to understand what your triggers are so you can manage your emotions and avoid being caught by uncontrollable emotions.”
– Talkspace therapist Reshawna Chapple, PhD, LCSW

To recognize what’s triggering it, pay attention when you first notice feeling angry. Keep a journal to track your emotions so you can look back, identify patterns, and start to become more self-aware. Knowing what sets you off makes it easier to mentally prepare for or avoid certain situations. Encouraging open discussions at home as a parent can help teens learn and process these triggers.

2. Use Deep Breathing to Calm Your Body & Mind

Deep breathing exercises are proven to help diffuse anger. Feeling angry is a type of fight-or-flight response that’s believed to have, at one time, protected us from danger. Research shows that deep breathing can be a powerful way to activate the parasympathetic nervous system and tell your brain that you don’t need to be on high alert any longer.

Take slow, deep, measured breaths to reverse your body’s physical response to anger. Try a simple breathing exercise, like the 4-4-4 technique. Inhale for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 4 seconds, and then slowly exhale for 4 seconds; repeat the process.

3. Pause & Take a Moment

Anger can cause impulsive behavior, manifesting in various forms including verbal or physical outbursts. When you act impulsively, though, you often say or do things you end up regretting. Instead, get in the habit of pausing before you respond to an upsetting situation. Avoiding conflict altogether can help you make more thoughtful decisions, even if you feel angry.

At the first sign of anger, take a moment to just be. Pause and take a quick walk, or step out of the room so you don’t immediately react. Pausing allows you to cool down, so you can think clearly about the situation and how you want to respond, reducing the likelihood of violence and enhancing self-control. It enables you to process teenage emotions, so situations don’t escalate.

“Whenever you feel intense emotions or are speaking with someone that might cause you to get upset, instead of holding things in, lashing out, or lying, you should take a 10-second timeout. This means pause and ask yourself: 1. What am I feeling? 2. How should I respond (Or not respond)? You should make the decision whether to speak or not. If you choose not to speak up, then you need to decide later when you will speak up or drop the issue completely. Holding your feelings in is not good.”
– Talkspace therapist Reshawna Chapple, PhD, LCSW

4. Write Down Your Feelings in a Journal

Journaling is a proven technique that calms anxiety, reduces depression, and helps you process emotions like anger. Recent studies have found it can be even more effective to write about the cause of your anger and then shred or throw away the paper.

When you journal to release your anger, don’t worry about making mistakes or filtering your words — just let your emotions flow. Over time, you’ll likely start to notice patterns around your anger, which can help you develop coping tools to specifically address the moments when you’re angry.

5. Listen to Soothing Music to Shift Your Mood

Listening to music is a powerful form of self-care for teens, as it can soothe emotions and change your state of mind. The next time you’re angry about something, listen to uplifting or calming music and see if it shifts your focus and helps you let go of your unhealthy emotions.

Before you’re angry, create a calm playlist of songs that make you happy. This way, you have something ready to go when you need it. While listening, focus on the lyrics, the beat, or the rhythm of the songs to distract yourself from negative or angry thought patterns.

6. Exercise to Release Pent-Up Energy

Research shows that anger is more common than other feelings and that it causes an adrenaline rush. Physical activity is one of the most effective ways to release the tension and energy that builds when you’re angry. Studies suggest that exercise can reduce the stress hormone adrenaline, aiding in anger control and management.

Try running, yoga, swimming, a quick stretch, or a home workout to release anger and boost your mood. Engaging in sports at school offers another great outlet for releasing energy.

7. Use Positive Self-Talk to De-Escalate Anger

Healthy self-talk is proven effective in reducing stress and increasing well-being. It also makes you more open to changing your behavior. Negatively talking to yourself when you’re upset can directly influence how you react to a situation.

Having repeated negative thoughts like “This isn’t fair” or “I can’t take this anymore” can intensify your rage. Identify and replace unhealthy thoughts with more positive, constructive ones to de-escalate your anger and gain a clear, thoughtful mind when you respond.

Practice positive self-talk that calms you down. Either out loud or silently, repeat statements like “I am calm and will stay calm,” “I know this feeling will pass,” or “Feelings aren’t forever.”

8. Express Your Feelings Through Creative Outlets

Creativity and doing something you love helps you process emotions and channel your anger into something more productive. Creative outlets help you to focus on things you enjoy, which can allow you the emotional release to shift your mood.

Activities like drawing, sketching, painting, writing, dancing, or playing an instrument are all great ways to find an emotional release without letting angry feelings become destructive.

9. Talk it Out with a Friend or Adult You Trust

Having someone you trust in your life, who you can open up to, is crucial when you’re trying to manage anger. Friends, family members, or even therapists can offer support and advice so you can turn your anger into something more constructive. Sometimes, just saying what you’re thinking or how you’re feeling out loud is enough.

Finding the right support system is key. Choose someone who’s a good listener and who isn’t judgmental. They should allow you to talk and try to help you see the situation through a new lens.

10. Practice Problem-Solving Skills Instead of Throwing Blame

Effective problem-solving skills are incredibly empowering. They help reduce feelings of helplessness and can improve your confidence. If you’re feeling angry — especially if it’s about something you have little to no control over — try focusing on a solution instead of blaming someone else. This more productive approach addresses the actual issue instead of focusing on how unfair something is.

For example, if you’re upset about a bad grade, think about your study habits. Try to figure out how you can improve. Go to your teacher and ask for help. If you’re mad about a social issue, like feeling distant from a good friend, make the extra effort to reconnect — invite them for coffee, to go for a walk, or to see a movie.

11. Seek Professional Help if Needed

Anger can be an all-consuming emotion. This can escalate to aggressive behavior if not properly managed. It’s often challenging to manage on your own, and sometimes, seeking expert help is your best option. Professional treatment offers solutions for managing anger effectively. Mental health experts are trained in anger management techniques for teens and adolescents and can teach skills to help you cope. You can also explore underlying issues that might be contributing to your emotions.

Asking for help and seeking therapy for anger management is brave— and online therapy makes it easier than ever to connect with a licensed therapist who’s experienced in anger management for teens. Therapy is a safe place to explore the root causes of your anger and why you react to certain things the way you do.

Moving Forward with Healthy Coping Skills

Anger management techniques for teens can’t be perfected overnight. It takes practice to be able to recognize what your triggers are. You need guidance and support to learn how to use calming techniques or express yourself in healthy, constructive ways. The good news is that as you gain confidence in your ability to control your angry feelings, you’ll be more successful at doing so. Remember, managing anger not only improves your mood but also strengthens your relationships. You don’t have to let your emotions and anger rule your life anymore.

Reach out to Talkspace to learn about the right anger management strategies for teens. Talkspace helps you deal with life’s challenges so you can build stronger, healthier connections with others. Online therapy for teens is effective, and with Talkspace, it’s also affordable and convenient. Learn more today.

Sources:

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Gashi A, Gontarev S, Zivkovic V, Gjorgovski I, Azemi A. The effect of aerobic physical activity in adrenaline level in white laboratory rats. Medical Archives. 2020;74(2):84. doi:10.5455/medarh.2020.74.84-89. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7296409/. Accessed January 18, 2025.
Cascio CN, O’Donnell MB, Tinney FJ, et al. Self-affirmation activates brain systems associated with self-related processing and reward and is reinforced by future orientation. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience. 2015;11(4):621-629. doi:10.1093/scan/nsv136. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4814782/. Accessed January 18, 2025.

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EMDR Therapy for Teens

Elizabeth Keohan, LCSW-C — Thu, 16 May 2024 14:54:56 +0000

Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) is trauma therapy that can help teens process and heal from a traumatic memory. Originally developed to treat symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), EMDR differs from more traditional forms of talk therapy. It’s believed to work by helping the brain reorganize how memories are stored to reduce the impact they have on one’s life.

For teens dealing with trauma, EMDR can be incredibly powerful. Dozens of studies support EMDR’s efficacy in treating emotional trauma — and several suggest it may offer faster results than other types of therapy, like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).

Continue reading to learn more about EMDR for teenagers — how it works, why it’s important to consider, the benefits it can offer, and what to expect.

How Does EMDR Work for Teens?

EMDR helps teens with PTSD process a difficult, traumatic memory in a way that doesn’t overwhelm them. While we don’t fully understand exactly how EMDR works, it’s widely accepted that there’s an exposure component involved that lends to the efficacy.

EMDR happens in 8 stages and involves tapping and bilateral stimulation in eye movement to help users work through a painful, traumatic experience. The outcome is a desensitization to the discomfort past trauma inflicts.

Why EMDR for Teens?

EMDR can be effective for anyone who’s experienced an intense traumatic event or tried cognitive behavioral therapy for teens without getting the results they want. For teens especially, EMDR can have incredible outcomes.

Tailored for adolescent experiences

Part of EMDR’s success is likely because the therapy is completely tailored to each individual’s experience. For teens, this can be critical in getting buy-in and engagement, both vital components to treatment success.

Developmentally appropriate

EMDR is developmentally appropriate for teenagers, especially given their sensitive and vulnerable psyche that hasn’t yet mastered how to manage emotions and feelings. Rather than dredging up painful memories week after week in sessions — which is the stereotypical therapeutic experience — EMDR takes a different approach to treatment. It’s active, engaging, and meets teens where they are developmentally.

Evidence-based effectiveness

One study found that after just 6 weekly sessions, 61% of teens no longer met the criteria for a major depressive disorder (MDD) diagnosis. Another study, though small in scale, found that teenagers with depressive symptoms saw total remission after participating in EMDR treatment.

Benefits of EMDR for Teens

EMDR is an evidence-based form of therapy proven to offer significant benefits to teens who use it to heal from a traumatic event. It can improve relationships, grades, self-esteem, the ability to focus, and more. This type of therapy for teens can also help with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and other mental health conditions related to a traumatic experience.

“Of course, EMDR has a range of positives for teens, but overall, bridging that gap often associated with trauma and how it is stored in the body can be a freeing and healthy experience that can help increase emotional fluency.”
– Talkspace therapist Elizabeth Keohan, LCSW-C

Reduced symptoms of trauma

EMDR for teenagers reduces symptoms of trauma, according to some studies. It can eliminate the instinct to be in a constant state of fear or worry about danger. It’s also known to help combat self-destructive behaviors, like abusing alcohol or engaging in acts of self-harm.

Improved emotional regulation

Studies suggest EMDR might be a successful way to treat emotional dysregulation in some people. The research found that participants saw a significant decrease in emotional regulation difficulties after seeking treatment.

Enhanced coping skills

Part of EMDR treatment focuses on teaching teens coping mechanisms and tools that help them manage triggers in the future — especially when they’re outside of sessions. With these coping skills, teens feel more confident in their daily lives and interactions. They’ll slowly begin to trust that even if they encounter an experience that might have set them off in the past, they’re equipped to deal with it.

Increased self-esteem

Multiple studies have shown that EMDR can positively impact low self-esteem. Some research suggests it might even be more beneficial than cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and it’s been found significantly more effective in improving behavioral problems in teens and children.

“EMDR can be authentically empowering for teens in building self-esteem and, of course, confidence. Though even if trained, it will take some time to build a rapport and a solid therapeutic alliance that can support beginning this type of work with a developing teen.”
– Talkspace therapist Elizabeth Keohan, LCSW-C

Decreased anxiety and depression symptoms

While more research is still needed, some studies suggest EMDR might be a feasible treatment for long-term depression, which is known to be highly prevalent in trauma survivors. Some research shows depression is 3 – 5 times more likely for people with PTSD, which can result from trauma.

Better academic and social functioning

EMDR can treat symptoms that interfere with academic progress and achievement or social interactions, improving a teen’s life in multiple ways. EMDR helps teens learn to focus on tasks and find success in school. It also helps them feel confident enough to engage in social functions and events again.

Improved relationships with family and peers

A significant component of EMDR involves learning to trust again. Teens who use EMDR often make great strides in their relationships with family, peers, and social circles as they create meaningful, healthy bonds with others.

What Teens Can Expect in EMDR

Knowing what to expect before engaging in any type of therapy demystifies the process and helps teens feel secure. Fortunately, EMDR is a very structured, well-defined process that ensures anxious teens can deal with their trauma in a safe place.

Initial assessment

The initial assessment — or “history taking” — helps EMDR therapists learn more about a teen’s past experiences so they can understand the history of the trauma. Here, specifics about memories or experiences will be shared.

Establishing trust with the therapist

Healing can’t happen without trust between a teen and their therapist. Spending enough time together to build that rapport is crucial. It establishes sessions are a safe space where vulnerability can be welcomed and the healing process can unfold.

Explanation of the EMDR process

Gaining a complete understanding of the EMDR process is crucial for teens and their families. Knowing what to expect can significantly reduce or eliminate the fear of the unknown, making the therapeutic journey more comfortable and effective.

EMDR therapy is a structured program that unfolds over multiple sessions, typically spanning weeks or months, depending on the individual’s needs and progress. The process is designed to address and alleviate the distress associated with traumatic memories through a phased approach.

Preparation phase

During this initial phase of EMDR, teens will prepare for the therapeutic journey ahead. This preparation involves not only understanding what EMDR is and how it works but also gaining access to guided stress management tools.

These tools are designed to help manage any anxiety or distress that may arise, both during and outside of therapy sessions. Examples of such tools include:

Deep breathing exercises: Guided exercises that help regulate breathing, promoting relaxation and reducing anxiety.
Progressive muscle relaxation: A technique that involves tensing and then slowly relaxing different muscle groups in the body, which can decrease physical tension and mental stress.
Visualization: Guided imagery practices that encourage teens to envision a calm, safe place, helping to foster a sense of peace and safety.
Mindfulness meditation: Techniques that focus on being present in the moment without judgment, which can help manage and reduce feelings of stress and anxiety.

These tools are an integral part of the preparation phase, equipping teens with effective strategies for managing stress throughout their EMDR therapy and beyond.

Desensitization phase

In the desensitization phase of EMDR, specific techniques are utilized to help teens disassociate from their trauma and any identified triggers, effectively training the brain to process these experiences differently. This critical step allows for the reduction of emotional distress linked to traumatic memories.

Examples of these techniques include:

Bilateral stimulation: Often the hallmark of EMDR, this technique involves guiding the teen to follow a therapist’s hand movements with their eyes back and forth, while recalling the traumatic event. This can also be achieved through auditory tones or tactile taps alternating from left to right, helping to activate both hemispheres of the brain and aid in the processing of trauma.
Dual attention stimuli: This approach combines focusing on the traumatic memory while simultaneously experiencing bilateral stimulation. The dual focus helps diminish the emotional impact of the memory over time.
Sensory grounding exercises: Techniques that help teens stay connected to the present moment during the recall of distressing memories, reducing the intensity of emotional or physical distress. This can involve mindfulness practices or physical grounding techniques, such as holding onto a textured object.

Through these desensitization techniques, teens learn to process and reframe their traumatic experiences, significantly reducing the emotional charge associated with these memories. This phase is essential for weakening the power that traumatic memories hold, paving the way for more adaptive understanding and integration of these experiences.

Installation phase

In the EMDR installation phase, therapists guide teens to transform harmful thought patterns into positive beliefs. Unlike replacing trauma memories, this phase focuses on changing how these memories are perceived and reducing their emotional grip. The essence is to shift from disempowering thoughts (e.g., “I am powerless”) to empowering ones (e.g., “I am resilient”). This reinforcement of positive beliefs helps teens reframe their traumatic experiences, fostering a stronger, more positive self-view and diminishing the trauma’s impact.

Body scan

Body scans are a vital part of EMDR therapy, enabling teens to become aware of their body’s responses to trauma. Instead of answering questions or conducting a physical exam, a body scan involves a guided mental review of bodily sensations led by the therapist. Teens are asked to mentally note any discomfort, tension, or other sensations in different body parts, from head to toe, without judgment.

This technique aims to identify physical signs of stress or trauma, such as tightness or pain, enhancing mindfulness and connection between physical sensations and emotional states. Through this mindful practice, teens learn to recognize and articulate how their bodies hold onto and react to traumatic memories, facilitating a holistic approach to healing. It’s about awareness and sensation, helping bridge the gap between mind and body in trauma recovery.

Closure

Closure is precisely what it sounds like. It helps teens release the effects of their trauma until their next EMDR session. Therapists often guide teens through specific calming or grounding exercises. These techniques are designed to help them “close” out the session feeling secure and contained, preventing the session’s intense emotions from overwhelming them. Therapists will also ensure that teens have coping tools to help them navigate any issues that come up in between sessions.

Reevaluation

The reevaluation stage is the final part of the EMDR process. It assesses the efficacy of treatment and determines whether future sessions are still necessary.

This stage typically occurs at the beginning of a new session, where the therapist reviews the teen’s emotional and psychological state since their last meeting. It involves assessing the effectiveness of the previous sessions in alleviating the symptoms of trauma and determining if the treatment goals are being met. If issues persist, or if new challenges have emerged, the therapist may recommend continuing with additional EMDR sessions. Conversely, if the teenager has shown significant improvement and stability, this phase might lead to a conclusion of the therapy or a transition to less frequent maintenance sessions.

A final follow-up session, even after substantial progress, helps ensure that improvements are sustained and addresses any late resurfacing of issues.

Find a Teen Therapist Specialized in EMDR

EMDR therapy for teens has a unique ability to heal and transform traumatic experiences that interfere with daily life and relationships. From a tailored approach that resonates with adolescents to the proven benefits research shows it can offer, EMDR may be vital to your teen’s healing.

If you’re wondering how to help a teenager with mental health issues, Talkspace can provide support. Talkspace provides access to convenient and affordable online therapy for teens where they can get the help they need at a time and place that fits into their lives. Reach out to Talkspace today to learn more about EMDR for teens.

Sources:

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Tang E, Jones C, Smith-MacDonald L, Brown MR, Vermetten EH, Brémault-Phillips S. Decreased emotional dysregulation following multi-modal motion-assisted memory desensitization and reconsolidation therapy (3MDR): Identifying possible driving factors in remediation of treatment-resistant PTSD. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. 2021;18(22):12243. doi:10.3390/ijerph182212243. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8621264/. Accessed March 17, 2024.
Gainer D, Alam S, Alam H, Redding H. A FLASH OF HOPE: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy. Innov Clin Neurosci. 2020;17(7-9):12-20. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7839656/, Accessed March 17, 2024.
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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Teens

Elizabeth Keohan, LCSW-C — Thu, 16 May 2024 14:52:52 +0000

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a type of therapy that can help teens identify unhealthy and unhelpful thought and behavior patterns so they can change them. CBT is based on the idea that our thoughts and emotions are intrinsically linked to our behavior. That is, how we behave is more related to our thought process than it is to external factors or environments.

Cognitive behavioral therapy for teens helps replace a negative thought pattern with a healthier, more productive one. Because it’s so individually driven, CBT can be an excellent type of therapy for teens — the process can be tailored to the unique developmental needs and concerns of every teen.

Keep reading to learn more about CBT for teens.

How Does CBT Work?

CBT helps teens break down large issues into smaller, more manageable issues that can be dealt with individually. It differs from other forms of therapy in that the process doesn’t tackle things in the past. Instead, cognitive behavioral therapy focuses on issues currently being experienced so teens can identify where they’re struggling and develop new approaches that allow them to handle things more effectively.

At its core, CBT works in 3 simple steps:

Identify negative thought patterns.
Challenge unhealthy thoughts — ask, “Is this true?” or “Who told me this?”
Replace unhealthy or unhelpful thoughts with positive, more productive ones.

CBT for teens can be effective in treating conditions like:

Depression
Anxiety
Disordered eating or body image issues
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Substance use disorder
Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

Why CBT for Teens?

CBT is an effective form of therapy for teens because it helps them navigate difficult times in the healthiest way possible. Learning to identify and change unhealthy patterns is a powerful, lifelong skill that’s useful during times of stress, anxiety, depression, or other challenging periods.

Understanding teen mental health challenges

According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), nearly half (42%) of students feel “persistently sad or hopeless,” and almost a third (29%) have poor mental health. Even more alarming, 10% of students have attempted to take their own life, and 22% — that’s more than 1 out of every 5 — seriously thought about it. The World Health Organization (WHO) notes that dying by suicide is the 4th leading cause of death for 15-29 year olds.

WHO also states that the leading mental health conditions for adolescents are anxiety, depression, and behavioral disorders — all of which can be treated by CBT.

The unique needs of teenagers

Teens have an entirely different and unique set of challenges when we look at mental health. Not only are they trying to figure out their place in the world, but they also have increased hormones and often encounter social pressures they don’t fully know how to manage yet — and this is all before we even consider that their brains are still developing.

The effectiveness of CBT in adolescent populations

In studies, CBT was effective in treating anxiety disorders, depression, PTSD, and OCD in children and adolescents. More than 77% of research participants saw significant symptom improvement post-treatment, and early 82% still saw improvement at follow-ups ranging from 1 to 89 months post-treatment.

Common improvements in teen mental health include:

Mood improvement: CBT helps stabilize mood by teaching coping techniques to redirect negative thought processes.
Better decision-making skills: Negative thinking patterns can cloud judgment, but CBT helps teens identify when they’re about to make a poor decision so they can course-correct before it’s too late.
Increased self-esteem: Tailored sessions can specifically address and improve the self-image issues that are common for teenagers.

Ways That Negative Thinking Affects Teens

Negative thinking patterns can affect every teen’s life experiences. They can alter everything from how teens think they’ll do in class or on a test to what they fear others might think about them in social settings.

Learning to identify — and then to change — a negative thought pattern is step 1 in creating and developing patterns, and healthy thought processes promote mental well-being.

Impact on self-esteem and self-image

Teenagers are already sensitive, not to mention vulnerable, when it comes to their self-image. CBT can help them identify and challenge the negative self-talk they engage in. Then, they can work on replacing it with positive affirmations that boost self-esteem and self-image while building confidence.

Low self-esteem and self-image issues are more common in teen girls than boys. The National Organization of Women (NOW) conducted a study that offered shocking results. More than half of girls in this country (53%) are unhappy with their bodies, and by the age of 17, that percentage skyrockets to 78%.

Think about a teen girl constantly scrolling and comparing herself (and her body) with images and posts she sees on social media. The effects of social media on teens can be significant. It’s easy to start looking at others — both people she knows and those she’s never met — and begin to feel less than worthy.

“A little perspective goes a long way. Professional therapeutic support is always good, but sometimes even a trusted friend, parent or adult can support you in moving out of a negative headspace. Sometimes negative self-talk feels like it just won’t let up, and getting some help to pause, reflect and counter or respond can truly help us feel so much better.”
– Talkspace therapist Elizabeth Keohan, LCSW-C

How CBT can help

Cognitive behavioral therapy can help her discover what triggers these unhealthy thoughts — in this case, using social media — so she can stop herself before she engages in negative self-talk. She’ll learn to replace old behaviors that harm her psyche with new, healthier, more rewarding ones. For example, the next time she grabs her phone to scroll Instagram, she might instead decide to pick up a journal and list 3 things she’s grateful for.

Consequences for academic and social performance

Unfortunately, unhealthy thinking typically doesn’t stay in just one area of life. More often than not, it trickles over into other aspects — it can negatively impact everything from schoolwork to friendships to relationships with teachers and parents. One bad thought can lead to another and another, and another, until teens feel so beaten down by the vicious cycle that they struggle or fail in multiple parts of their lives.

Say a teenage boy is suddenly struggling in a class or feeling increased pressure to fit in with his social group — it can be a painful experience. Most teens today desperately want to do well in school and be liked by their peers. When the cycle of negative thought patterns stems from school or social pressures, teens may worry they’ll never be successful in life — they might convince themselves they won’t ever have a healthy adult relationship, won’t do well in college (academically or socially), or won’t get a good job as an adult.

How CBT can help

CBT helps teens spot the exact moment they start to use negative self-talk about their academic achievements or social interactions. It allows them to realize the path they’re taking themselves down so they can stop. Over time, CBT equips teenagers with the tools to change directions long before their negativity impacts them in a harmful way.

Relationship with anxiety and depression

Mental Health America (MHA) conducted research that found more than 15% of youth aged 12 – 17 experienced 1 or more major depressive episodes in the last 12 months. The National Institute of Mental Health estimates that nearly 32% of adolescents have a form of anxiety disorder. For 8.3% of them, it causes severe impairment. Having persistent negative thoughts can exacerbate the severity and occurrence of depression or anxiety symptoms.

Both anxiety and depression can convince a teen they’re unable to do the simplest of tasks. Maybe they can’t make it out the door to school in the morning or find the energy to shower and meet up with friends for a movie or to hang out at the mall. These seemingly small things that shouldn’t be overwhelming can suddenly become too daunting to even attempt for a teen with anxiety or depression.

How CBT can help

Whether it’s teen depression or anxiety, CBT can offer hope by breaking down overwhelming thoughts and emotions. It gives teens a playbook with tools and directions on how to deal with anxiety or overcome depression.

Effects on behavior and decision-making

Teens are known for making the occasional what-in-the-world-were-you-thinking?! decision — but it’s not entirely their fault. Beyond the hormonal imbalance they’re battling that can alter their thought process and ability to make sound decisions, there’s actually neuroscience behind adolescent decision-making. Risky choices can’t always be chalked up to them “not thinking things through.” Scientific evidence suggests teen brain function is unique and hasn’t yet reached adult levels.

“When our automatic negative thoughts are on autopilot, we create anxiety that can stand in the way of our goals. For example, catastrophizing a situation can lead us to make impulsive decisions based on what we anxiously might anticipate and conclude rather than a well thought out rational perspective.”
– Talkspace therapist Elizabeth Keohan, LCSW-C

A teenager might experience mood swings that feel like an emotional rollercoaster. The effects can impact how they behave and the decisions they make. They might lash out, have little patience, or be overly emotional about things that might not have bothered them in the past. High-risk behavior or distancing themselves from a social circle can lead to hanging out with a new crowd or experimenting with drugs or alcohol.

How CBT can help

Cognitive behavioral therapy for teens can be instrumental in teaching teens to cope, giving them a roadmap for how they can act and make decisions.

Benefits of CBT for Teens

Being a teenager today is anything but simple. It’s not the same as it was in the past. Social media, high-stakes testing, intense college admittance pressures, and more create the perfect storm for mental health struggles. CBT can help teens battle negative thoughts and empower them, allowing them to make healthier decisions and understand their potential, worth, and strength.

Enhancing emotional regulation & resilience

Emotion regulation and resilience aren’t skills that always come naturally — but they are something that can be learned. CBT offers coping mechanisms that help teens recognize their emotions so they can better manage stressful situations instead of being consumed by them.

For example, CBT can teach teens who react with impulsive, uncontrolled rage when angry to identify the triggers that set them off. Then, they can either avoid stimuli or practice using coping tools to navigate their anger in a healthy and productive way — like by discussing what upset them in a calm manner rather than screaming or becoming violent.

Improving relationships & social skills

Social situations can be overwhelming during adolescence, especially for those struggling with social anxiety. Some teenagers are painfully shy, and interacting with peers or putting themselves out there feels incredibly scary. Teens who get CBT can learn to communicate and follow social cues so they feel safe and empowered in social settings.

For example, CBT can help a teen with social anxiety or difficulty establishing and maintaining deep, meaningful friendships start to reframe negative thoughts and associations about being social. Over time, the teen might feel stronger, more confident, and more willing to take risks and participate in social events.

Building self-esteem & positive self-image

Building self-esteem and creating a positive self-image are crucial to the teenage experience. CBT helps teens argue with their internal negative self-talk so they can find their inner beauty and cultivate positive self-esteem and self-image.

Some teens have a negative body image. What they see isn’t reality. For example, a teen girl might be a healthy weight for her height and body type but believe she’s extremely overweight — and no amount of positive feedback from others will change that. Teen CBT helps break unhealthy thought patterns that alter her self-view so she can let go of what her inner critic is telling her and begin to set new, healthy expectations about how she should look.

Find a Teen Therapist Specialized in CBT

If you’re exploring options for therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy for teens might be exactly what you’re looking for if you know a struggling teenager. Talkspace is an online therapy platform with CBT therapists who understand the challenges teens today face. See how Talkspace makes getting help easy, affordable, and convenient — even for busy teens. Get started with online therapy for teens. Plus, teens living in New York City may qualify for free online therapy from Talkspace.

Sources:

Mental health. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. December 6, 2023. Accessed March 16, 2024. https://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/mental-health/index.htm.
Mental health of adolescents. World Health Organization. November 17, 2021. Accessed March 16, 2024. https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/adolescent-mental-health.
Pegg S, Hill K, Argiros A, Olatunji BO, Kujawa A. Cognitive behavioral therapy for anxiety disorders in youth: Efficacy, moderators, and new advances in predicting outcomes. Current Psychiatry Reports. 2022;24(12):853-859. doi:10.1007/s11920-022-01384-7. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9660212. Accessed March 16, 2024.
Get the facts: National Organization for Women. National Organization for Women -. Accessed March 16, 2024. https://now.org/now-foundation/love-your-body/love-your-body-whats-it-all-about/get-the-facts/.
Youth Data 2022. Mental Health America. 2022. Accessed March 16, 2024. https://www.mhanational.org/issues/2022/mental-health-america-youth-data.
Any anxiety disorder. National Institute of Mental Health. Accessed March 16, 2024. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/any-anxiety-disorder.
Hartley CA, Somerville LH. The neuroscience of adolescent decision-making. Current Opinion in Behavioral Sciences. 2015;5:108-115. doi:10.1016/j.cobeha.2015.09.004. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4671080/. Accessed March 16, 2024.

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Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) for Teens

Jill E. Daino, LCSW-R — Thu, 16 May 2024 14:29:56 +0000

Although dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) was initially developed to treat suicidal thoughts in those living with borderline personality disorder (BPD), today it’s also used for several other mental health conditions — many of which are prevalent among teenagers.

DBT can be beneficial in treating self-harm, suicidal thoughts and behavior, substance use disorder, depression, and some types of disordered eating, among other conditions. This type of therapy is effective for some people who have intense reactions to certain emotional situations. Thus, working to find emotional balance is a critical component of DBT treatment.

DBT therapy for teens can address the emotional and behavioral issues that are common in this age group. Recent research found that an estimated 1 out of every 5 teens have symptoms of anxiety or depression. Teens today are under incredible stress and often face high-stakes issues that can be challenging to navigate on their own.

Teaching coping skills to manage teen mental health is essential, and DBT for teenagers can be a lifeline. Keep reading to learn more about how and why dialectical behavioral therapy can be a valuable type of therapy for teens.

What is DBT & How Does it Work for Teens?

DBT therapy for teens is a type of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) — also known as talk therapy. It teaches teens to dive into emotional chaos, use problem-solving, and find acceptance when dealing with crises.

DBT is particularly productive for teenagers who find it hard to see multiple perspectives and rely on an all-or-nothing way of thinking.

DBT for teenagers can treat conditions like:

Anxiety: DBT skills help teens learn to manage and overcome fear and anxious feelings. It provides coping skills for anxiety in teens.
Depression: DBT teaches resilience techniques that help teens deal with depression.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD): BPD involves intense emotions that feel impossible to manage. When you partake in DBT for borderline personality disorder, you’ll discover tools for emotional regulation and distress tolerance, which are common symptoms of BPD.
Disordered eating: Eating disorders are about more than food — they’re about control and body image, too. Studies suggest that DBT can effectively treat disordered eating. For example, mindfulness exercises that DBT teaches can help teens regain a healthy relationship with food without engaging in self-harming behavior.
Suicidal thinking: By addressing underlying issues and providing immediate coping mechanisms, DBT can help teens with suicidal thoughts.
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD): With an emphasis on emotional regulation and control, DBT can be a beneficial addition to ADHD treatment plans.

Benefits of DBT for Teens

DBT therapy for teens can be a game-changer, and several studies show positive outcomes in behavioral and other problems. The skills and strategies taught become a toolkit full of coping mechanisms that last throughout the teen years and into adulthood.

DBT helps teens develop healthy social skills, learn emotional regulation, and use crisis management tools to cultivate and nurture healthy, rewarding relationships with peers, teachers, and family members.

Benefits of DBT for teens can reduce:

Self-harm tendencies
Anger
Depressive symptoms
Days of in-patient hospitalization
Alcohol and drug use or abuse

“DBT can be very effective for teens as it encompasses skills that help them navigate the intense feelings and challenges that can arise within themselves and others. DBT provides a framework to address negative thought patterns, regulate emotions, and shift behaviors. Given the skills within DBT, it can be very effective with a wide variety of concerns teens grapple with at this stage of life, for example, eating disorders, depression, self-harm, and ADHD, along with many other concerns.”
– Talkspace therapist Jill Daino, LCSW-R, BC-TMH

Core Components of DBT Adapted for Teens

Understanding the core components of DBT will help determine whether it might be a valuable option for treatment. This highly specialized form of therapy uses mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal tolerance to achieve the ultimate goal of finding acceptance.

Understanding mindfulness and present moment awareness

Mindfulness is about being in the moment. Research suggests it can have a positive impact on symptoms of BPD and other mental health conditions.

Mindfulness is a skill that helps teens avoid dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. When mastered, mindfulness promotes calm and clarity. It makes it easier to focus on things that matter and can be controlled, so teens can stop wasting time and energy.

Teens can use DBT and mindfulness to practice:

Being in the moment: Teens learn to let go of past regrets and forget about future anxieties so they can be rooted firmly in the present.
Using breath as an anchor: Fast, shallow breathing is common in times of distress, but when teens focus on controlling their breath and breathing deeply and slowly, the effect is calming and grounding. Deep breathing signals the parasympathetic nervous system — also known as the fight-or-flight response — that it’s time to slow down. Research shows that breathing deeply can reduce anxiety, slow the heart rate, and calm racing thoughts.
Focusing on senses: The senses are pathways to the present. DBT teaches teens to focus on what they smell, hear, see, and feel so they can stay in the moment.

Distress tolerance skills for emotional crises

Distress tolerance skills are powerful coping strategies teens can use when navigating crisis mode and trying to overcome challenges. Managing emotional pain in healthy ways can be difficult — especially for teens who rely on destructive, unhealthy, or unhelpful habits — so distress tolerance can be crucial in managing difficult times.

Teens learn distress tolerance skills like:

Evaluating the pros and cons of a situation
Using self-soothing techniques
Finding things to distract them from their current state of mind
Implementing acceptance into their life
Stopping themselves from engaging in destructive or impulsive behaviors
Using the idea of TIPP (temperature, intense exercise, paced breathing, paired muscle relaxation)

Emotion regulation to manage intense feelings

Emotion regulation teaches teens to manage intense feelings. They’ll learn to recognize emotions, understand where they come from, and decide how to respond rather than using an impulsive reaction.

Teenagers who participate in DBT therapy learn to regulate their emotions by:

Acknowledging feelings: This means allowing a feeling to surface without reacting.
Distinguishing between fact and feeling: It can be hard to determine what’s real vs what’s just a reaction to a situation or person. Learning to separate facts from feelings helps teens see things clearly so they can assess the best way to move forward.
Picking battles: While in the moment, an intense emotion can feel like it needs to be dealt with immediately, they don’t always require an instant reaction. Sitting with discomfort teaches the young person how to respond in healthy ways instead of using avoidance or engaging in destructive responses.

Interpersonal effectiveness for healthier relationships

Relationships are often complex and confusing — especially during the teen years — so learning to navigate them in healthy ways is important. DBT therapy for teens can be pivotal in helping young people foster deep bonds that result in productive and mutually rewarding relationships.

DBT treatment helps teens develop healthy interpersonal relationships by teaching the importance of:

Saying what you mean: Learning to ask for what you need clearly and assertively is a life skill everyone should know.
Learning to deal with “no”: Hearing no without falling apart can be challenging for teens or young adults. Acceptance is pivotal in keeping doors open for future interactions, opportunities, and conversations.
Setting boundaries: Prioritizing healthy boundaries and knowing how to enforce them helps the teen or young adult become better at demanding self-respect and teaching people how to treat them.

Walking the middle path: balancing acceptance and change

Balance and acceptance are skills all teens should master. Finding that equilibrium is easier when a teenager has the coping skills and tools to help them make sense of their world. DBT can effectively help teenagers learn to accept difficult emotions and work to change their behaviors.

Find a Teen Therapist Specializing in DBT

Dialectical behavioral therapy is an evidence-based form of therapy that helps teens manage their emotions and find success in relationships. It’s not always an easy road, but with the proper guidance and resources, teens can access powerful coping tools so they can overcome virtually anything they’re struggling with. DBT therapy for teens teaches teenagers to identify and accept how they think and feel so they can make positive life changes.

Talkspace is an online therapy platform that simplifies the therapy process, with convenient, affordable sessions that are easy for teens to fit into their busy lives. Talkspace mental health providers are skilled, experienced, and qualified to use DBT for teens seeking help.

If you’re interested in learning more about online therapy for teens, reach out to Talkspace today to get started. If you’re a teen living in New York City, you may qualify for free online therapy through Talkspace.

Sources:

1. Roughly 1 in 5 adolescents report experiencing symptoms of anxiety or depression. KFF. February 6, 2024. Accessed March 15, 2024. https://www.kff.org/coronavirus-covid-19/press-release/roughly-1-in-5-adolescents-report-experiencing-symptoms-of-anxiety-or-depression.

2. Wisniewski L, Ben-Porath DD. Dialectical behavior therapy and eating disorders: The use of contingency management procedures to manage dialectical dilemmas. American Journal of Psychotherapy. 2015;69(2):129-140. doi:10.1176/appi.psychotherapy.2015.69.2.129. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26160619/. Accessed March 15, 2024.

3. Pardo ES, Rivas AF, Barnier PO, et al. A qualitative research of adolescents with behavioral problems about their experience in a dialectical behavior therapy skills training group. BMC Psychiatry. 2020;20(1). doi:10.1186/s12888-020-02649-2. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7238612/. Accessed March 15, 2024.

4. Eeles J, Walker D. Mindfulness as taught in dialectical behaviour therapy: A scoping review. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy. 2022;29(6):1843-1853. doi:10.1002/cpp.2764. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10084181/. Accessed March 15, 2024.

5. Russo MA, Santarelli DM, O’Rourke D. The physiological effects of slow breathing in the healthy human. Breathe. 2017;13(4):298-309. doi:10.1183/20734735.009817. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5709795/. Accessed March 15, 2024.

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